Does this ever happen to you? The Bible says, “Do not fear,” and you still cling to fear in certain relationships. It says, “Be strong in the Lord,” and you still feel overwhelmed in certain situations. It says, “Rejoice in the Lord,” and sometimes all you can do is fight back tears at certain pains you experience.
It does to me. Then last night it hit me. I have been living two lives, with two opposing gods. I think I have to please certain people, yet, I also want to please God.
Last night I resolved to live only one life, to live for the God I love. I don’t know what it will look like, or how to even do it. All I know is that I set myself free. What about you?
Hi Eva. The question is always why we find ourselves not doing the good that we ought, while the stain of sin which we thought was scrubbed out by the blood of Jesus, continually reappears.
I have observed Christians struggling over the years and conclude that there has not been the dealing with sin and baggage that should be taking place. We should always be asking the Lord to peel back more layers, and using this revelation to enter into ever deeper communion with Him.
I am glad that as you lead your organisation, your desire is always the pursuing of intimacy with each person of the Godhead.
Thanks for your thoughts, Andy. There is much that can keep us struggling. I would also include to your list… the past, relationships, emotional needs and brokenness. I think in all of us there will be unrecognized issues that only come to our comprehension when ‘the time is right.’ It always amazes me how patient the Lord is, loving us, helping us, and showing us where things are ascrew when he knows we are able to cope. He is good.
Brene Brown describes what you’re talking about as “hustling for approval”. Effectively, what she says we do is that when we think our value is predicated on our performance, we will inevitably try to hustle for the approval of others. We try to perform our way into love because that’s what at some level we’ve taught is how to get it. By contrast, true love is not based on performance – it is simply a gift. If we know we are loved, irrespective of actions and behaviors, then the approval of others is no longer something we have to hustle for (not that we all don’t still want it to some degree) we can be aware enough to know that we want it but don’t NEED it in the same way we used to be dependent on it.
Brene Brown is great. Her TED talks are really helpful. I too recommend her to many. Thanks, Jeremy.
I have found that knowing it my head and living it truly and completely are two different things. And, I find that there are layers upon layers. Often when we think we have gotten a grip on it, God takes us even deeper.