Category: choices

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‘It wasn’t your fault.’

Sometimes people tell us, ‘It wasn’t your fault,’ especially when we struggle with our past. But we might push them away, for they obviously don’t know what went on.

But often those on the outside can see our lives better. They hear our stories and the guilt we have assumed. They see how we were made to feel responsible. We feel guilty for things we never did.

It takes a journey to move from shame to freedom. It takes accepting the invitation our friends have extended. For they long to see us living OUR lives and leaving behind the lies.

‘It wasn’t your fault,’ are releasing words. We can move on.

(photo by Pixabay – www.pexels.com)

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Ending the war in our mind…

All sorts of voices can fill our minds. Belligerent ones of those who condemn. Gentle ones of those who love. But the loud ones often win the battle in taking over our minds.

I had thought that if ever those loud voices ceased, the battle would stop. It didn’t. My mind filled up with hurt instead, and this became as loud as those condemnations.

It has taken me years to stop the war. It came through writing those condemnations down, recording in detail what happened. And then I discovered why I kept reliving my past – I didn’t want to ever forget it. But by moving it from my mind to paper, enabled the memories to keep on going, just not inside my head.

Writing can end the war in our minds. And then we can hear the gentler voices around.

(photo by Lance Reis: pexels.com)

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Our best is enough…

Over the last few months I have joined in initiating three new projects. Each one totally different. A community centre. A writers’ group. An apple orchard. And with each I feel out of my depth.

Yet over the years I have learned that it is okay to feel that way. It is okay to look at a blank sheet of paper and go blank. It is okay to feel lost.

But, I have found that the ideas do come. A random chat on the street. A person who has been there before and shares their expertise. The encouragement of a friend.

And when I give my best and ‘work at it with all [my] heart, as working for the Lord,’* something always happens. The initiatives take on a life. They bless.

*Colossians 3:23 (photo by Tim Douglas: www.pexels.com)

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‘Call me, Bitter.’

That was what Naomi said when she lost her husband and two sons. She said, ‘Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter’ (Ruth 1:20). And in her deep grief, she tried to drive away those she loved.

God’s exiled people experienced the same in nature. They came to a spring, but ‘they could not drink its water because it was bitter’ (Exodus 15:23). They backed away from it and rejected it, because bitterness has a way of driving others away.

But God stepped into both situations. God gave Naomi a grandson through the very person she tried to reject. He cured the water for his exiled people, the very water they refused to drink. And God will do the same for us. Let’s not drive others away in our great sadness and bitterness of heart, for it is often through these people that we find God’s hope.

image: pexels-yaroslav-shuraev-8968077.jpg

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Can others wreck our lives?

May I share with you what I have learned…

God always speaks out against the injustices we suffer. He always upholds us when we are wronged. He walks with us through our hard times. He never lets us down.

I have also learned that even though everyone has a choice, we can’t make anyone choose to do what is right. And, even though their choices may ruin our lives, God always has another way. He redirects our eyes to something new.

Because we understand grief, we can comfort those who grieve. Because we suffer injustice, we can fight for those who are crushed. God doesn’t consider our past as wasted years; it is the foundation on which he builds hope.

Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash

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Are we free?

Does this ever happen to you? The Bible says, “Do not fear,” and you still cling to fear in certain relationships. It says, “Be strong in the Lord,” and you still feel overwhelmed in certain situations. It says, “Rejoice in the Lord,” and sometimes all you can do is fight back tears at certain pains you experience.

It does to me. Then last night it hit me. I have been living two lives, with two opposing gods. I think I have to please certain people, yet, I also want to please God.

Last night I resolved to live only one life, to live for the God I love. I don’t know what it will look like, or how to even do it. All I know is that I set myself free. What about you?

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The thing about dreams

They say that dreams reveal what is going on deep down inside us… Not long ago I dreamed that I was on a cargo train trundling through the desert. I found myself holding two snakes by the head, restraining them from doing harm. Then a woman came up close and pointed to the desert. “Throw them overboard,” she said. It hadn’t occurred to me.

God also speaks to us through our dreams. That same afternoon someone gave me a prayer by St. Anthony of the Desert… “Lord, help us to take nothing with us as we enter the desert and there teach our hearts to beat in time with yours.”

I finally knew what those snakes represented. In my prayers that evening I threw them overboard and felt freer than I had in years… Is something dragging you down as well? Sometimes it is as simple as throwing it away.

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What is important?

People sometimes say, “The end is important, but not how you get there.” But… what if we doubt we will ever reach our desired end, the goal we want for our life? Is our journey invalidated? Does this mean we are a failure for life?

I know of a person who lived in the future, for the plans they had made, and they forgot about today. They forgot to be kind and enjoy life with those they loved. The Bible says, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” (Proverbs 16:9 NLT) Plans aren’t everything in life.

Whatever happens, our lives still count. What we do every day, how we treat those around, these are just as important as any plan.

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Emotional traps

Have you ever been so upset, you dared not speak? I recently was, even though I did all the right things. Count to ten. Take deep breaths. Try to see things from another perspective.

Nothing helped, and all I accomplished was losing sleep and gaining five pounds  in weight. I cried out to God, “Help me.”

A simple thought came to mind… “Focus on God.”

I shifted my gaze from the pain within, to a verse on the kitchen window sill. “The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and rich in love.” (Psalm 145:8) I caught my breath. I had been feeling the opposite. It was time to realign with God.

Do you have verses around the house to help you regain perspective?

 

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It takes two!

A few days ago I experienced something painful in my heart. I prayed that God would send me someone to help me regain perspective. I set off on a walk. Maybe I would meet this person, and maybe they would stop me. But, I wouldn’t take the initiative, I would let God do it.

I had barely started out when a virtual stranger stopped me. She asked me how I was.

I was taken aback, and didn’t want to share. But I had prayed, and God had done his part. I had better do mine. I told her what was going on. “I’ve been there too,” she said. “It isn’t your fault…”

God does answer our prayers! But, we too have to do our part.