We may have done everything properly as we grieved:
- Gone through the five stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance*.
- Committed our broken hearts to God and asked him to heal us.
- Trusted him for our future, that he would help us through.
We moved on… but then something happened to remind us. A conversation. A situation. An emotion. And we grieved yet again.
I have learned to lay each flashback at Jesus’ feet, to sit with him in the night for as long as I need. I have learned to accept his precious promises as my own. “The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm” (Zephaniah 3:15). We don’t have to be afraid. Jesus is with us. We can get up and live.
*1969, psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Photo by Jon Asato on Unsplash
I used to think that power comes from self-confidence, of knowing my mind and fulfilling my dreams. But if I fall into the hands of a manipulative person, they can change my reality. And sometimes it takes years to come to my senses. Then grief overwhelms – How could I have been so deceived? Anger – This was wrong! Shame – Why didn’t I see it before? Guilt – I let my life get ruined.
But I forget where my true power lies – not in capability, cleverness, or even my goodness. It comes from God, who says, “At that time I will deal with all who oppressed you. I will rescue the lame; I will gather the exiles. I will give them praise and honour in every land where they have suffered shame” (Zephaniah 1:19)
God puts us back on the road so we can relearn to walk. He enables us to lift up our heads without shame and live.
Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash