Tag: finding hope

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Rags-to-riches in one easy step…

Sometimes we feel like rearranging the world, especially when things get tough. We want a one-step, rags-to-riches experience. We want our troubles to vanish and for our hearts to stop breaking. We want to be happy.

Instead, with everything going on, it can feel like troubles are incoming thick and fast. We feel like collateral damage and end up sprawled on the ground. Our rags-to-riches dream seems unreachable and unreal.

Yet, we so often forget that God cares. He wants to move us from rags to riches. Not necessarily rags to wealth, or health, or an easy life. He wants to move us closer to Jesus, the greatest treasure in this world…

That one step, however, includes a fact – our rags. Yet often we will think that rags are the problem. We think that getting rid of them is our top priority…

As a young woman, I experienced rags – homelessness for two turbulent years. But during that time, two identical moments stand out and they both happened on a winter’s night, when I took a bath in a tin tub, outside behind a tin barn. A chill wind was blowing and the temperature falling, but the bath water was warm, heated on a woodstove outside.

I paused to look up. The sky was black, but the stars felt so close, almost as if I could reach out and touch them. I couldn’t resist it. I stretched out my hand and touched one star, and then another. It was all too beautiful for words.

Yet, in the two years in which I was homeless, only twice did I take the time to look up. Only twice did I think, ‘Life is so much bigger than me.’ All the other times, I peppered God with questions:

  • How can you do this to me, dear God? I’m a Christian. I’m your child. You’re my father, and fathers are meant to look out for their children.
  • What are you doing, dear God? My life is being wasted. I’m barely surviving. I can’t figure out what you are trying to teach me.
  • Did I do something wrong and you are punishing me? Please tell me what, so I can change. I want to do what’s right.

I got no answers, but God knew what he was doing. He was willing to risk everything – my relationship with him, my dreams, my very life. He wanted to me learn something much bigger in life, that rags don’t define us, he does. Rags don’t last forever, he does.

And as I reflected in that tub, I remembered a verse: ‘It is I; don’t be afraid’ (John 6:20). God understood the storm that raged in my life. He understood the implications. Yet, he could give me hope. He could comfort me, even though nothing had changed. He became my treasure, my anchor in life. How very rich I still am.

(image: Rachel Claire – pexels.com)

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‘It wasn’t your fault.’

Sometimes people tell us, ‘It wasn’t your fault,’ especially when we struggle with our past. But we might push them away, for they obviously don’t know what went on.

But often those on the outside can see our lives better. They hear our stories and the guilt we have assumed. They see how we were made to feel responsible. We feel guilty for things we never did.

It takes a journey to move from shame to freedom. It takes accepting the invitation our friends have extended. For they long to see us living OUR lives and leaving behind the lies.

‘It wasn’t your fault,’ are releasing words. We can move on.

(photo by Pixabay – www.pexels.com)

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When taken hostage by gaslighting…

It can be deeply painful when someone hates us for doing good. It hurts when our sense of justice is mocked, because it doesn’t bow to their demands. The Bible puts it so well. ‘You have turned justice into poison and the fruit of righteousness into bitterness’ (Amos 6:12). These kinds of people will try to poison us, to gaslight us into agreeing with their reality.

But the Bible guides us when we are in danger of being taken as a hostage: ‘They shall never enter my rest’ (Psalm 95:11). We can say, ‘NEVER!’ We can say, ‘No! You can’t come in! You will not disturb my rest.’ We can choose who we let into our lives. We can choose those who love good.

(photo by Leonie Fahjen: pexels.com)

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Should we let go?

People often say, ‘You must let go of your past.’ But, it is our past which forms us into the people we are. It was our teacher as we learned from our mistakes. It taught us what or who was dangerous.

The past is that part of us which can never be undone, yet the Bible says, ‘Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing,’ (Isaiah 43:18-19). To ‘not dwell’ means to stop trying to understand what went wrong. It means to stop trying to figure out the ‘Why?’

The unjust hurts will eat up our life, but we can turn our heads the other way. We can let go of the unanswered ‘Whys’ and begin to see God’s new.

(photo by Gantas Vaičiulėnas: pexels.com)

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Finding the reason to live…

I have been to places so profoundly dark, that I couldn’t see my hand, even when I waved it in front of my eyes. Because, the absence of light is darkness.

I have been in places where leaders didn’t care if I was happy or sad, so long as they had control. They didn’t care if I was dying inside, as long as I did it in silence. But the absence of care is actually cruel. The absence of love invokes fear.

I have also experienced people who believed in me, who dared to tear down the blinders which had tricked me into darkness. Because – and this is true for many of us – in the presence of those who love us and care, we find our reason to live. We find that their ‘perfect love casts out fear.’*

*1 John 4:18 / (photo by RUN 4 FFWPU: www.pexels.com)

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Never give up!

‘Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart.’ – Colossians 3:23 .

Did you know that 96 years ago, the first ever loaf of sliced bread was sold? Otto, a young man, wanted to make a bread slicing machine, and he had just about finished when his shop burned down.

He didn’t give up. It took him 10 more years to rebuild it and then sell it to a bakery. Otto didn’t think people would catch onto the idea, but it spread around the world. Two years later, people could buy sliced bread in England as well.

Otto never became rich or famous, but he made something which made life easier… Whatever our dreams, we can give them a go. Whatever the troubles, we can press through.

(from a chaplain’s chat I wrote – photo by Lucas Guizo: https://www.pexels.com)

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The antidote for jealousy

As a depressed teenager, a neighbour give me his old issues of ‘Guideposts.’ I read the faith stories and they held me together, especially as I struggled with wanting to be like others.

Imagine my surprise to discover that now they offer a writers’ course for would-be contributors. I couldn’t comprehend their generosity, that is, until I read this quote:

‘Your jealousy—yes, you will be jealous of other writers’ success and talent—will melt away when you’ve been generous… Want to be a writer? Be someone else’s good reader. Believe in someone else. Be their friend, their fan. Expand your world. No doubt you’ll find there are many people who believe in you. .’*

And just as Guideposts cheers me on, I am doing the same. It erases the need to compare myself with others. My heart is for them to succeed.

*Rick Hamlin, ‘Called to Write’, published by Guideposts, 2019, pg 51-52.

(image found on https://www.etsy.com/listing/1560178915/vintage-guideposts-magazines-1972-7)

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Why am I so favoured?

This is the question Elizabeth asked Mary, a young, single, mother-to-be. And this is the question I too should have been asking in all my troubles over the years. Instead, I recited the wrong ones…

  • Why won’t you hurry up, God, and answer my prayers?
  • How can I survive in this intolerable situation?
  • Don’t you care, God?

But God has been helping me redirect my focus – to look for what is good. And that is hard for me to do, for everything in my heart cries out against these injustices, it cries out against the cruel behaviour of others.

So, today, I celebrated my father’s death, for 33 years ago today, he suddenly died. Derek and I shared an ice cream sundae, and rejoiced in the bravery my father had to admit that he had done wrong. We thanked God for the occasions where he stood up against wrong. We agreed that because of his severity, I grew much deeper in faith.

So, I celebrate with Elizabeth for God’s favour in hard times.

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‘Call me, Bitter.’

That was what Naomi said when she lost her husband and two sons. She said, ‘Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter’ (Ruth 1:20). And in her deep grief, she tried to drive away those she loved.

God’s exiled people experienced the same in nature. They came to a spring, but ‘they could not drink its water because it was bitter’ (Exodus 15:23). They backed away from it and rejected it, because bitterness has a way of driving others away.

But God stepped into both situations. God gave Naomi a grandson through the very person she tried to reject. He cured the water for his exiled people, the very water they refused to drink. And God will do the same for us. Let’s not drive others away in our great sadness and bitterness of heart, for it is often through these people that we find God’s hope.

image: pexels-yaroslav-shuraev-8968077.jpg

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Finding the laugh…

Why 143 revisions over 7 years? God isn’t in a hurry when working in our hearts. It took all those years to find the laugh. Enjoy my bio below…

Rich girl, poor girl, beggar girl, Leaf…

Eva Leaf was born in the USA to World War II refugees – a RICH girl – with family and chilling escape stories from Eastern Europe. But Eva’s Pa got spooked and fled again – a POOR girl – to an isolated place in the Ozark mountains.

Next came homelessness in tents and a barn – a BEGGAR girl – with nothing but a cardboard box of clothes and a borrowed guitar. But God stepped in to rescue in an unexpected way. She could finally go to college and study Religious Education in Canada. After getting a degree, she became a teacher on the Mexican/USA border.

Later, an English gentleman, by the name of LEAF, found her and whisked her away. Together, they worked for a charity in England and Portugal. They have now set up home in an English village, where Eva mentors and writes.

She did dream of becoming a doctor, pilot, a commander-in-chief – she has four grown children instead – RICH girl!

Never give up.