Finding the reason to live…

I have been to places so profoundly dark, that I couldn’t see my hand, even when I waved it in front of my eyes. Because, the absence of light is darkness.

I have been in places where leaders didn’t care if I was happy or sad, so long as they had control. They didn’t care if I was dying inside, as long as I did it in silence. But the absence of care is actually cruel. The absence of love invokes fear.

I have also experienced people who believed in me, who dared to tear down the blinders which had tricked me into darkness. Because – and this is true for many of us – in the presence of those who love us and care, we find our reason to live. We find that their ‘perfect love casts out fear.’*

*1 John 4:18 / (photo by RUN 4 FFWPU: www.pexels.com)

Hand-made by God

The question is – who knows me? I have met those who told me I was not enough. They vowed that they could remake me… Sadly, I trusted them.

But there was always another voice calling out, one that took me years to hear. For, “This is what the Lord says – he who created you…, he who formed you…: ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.'” (Isaiah 43:1) How I cried when I finally grasped that I had been following the wrong creators. But God picked me up and hugged me. He said, “Do not fear.”

And as I have gone on with him, I am relearning who I am. For God made me, not factory-style, but hand-made. He knows me.

Photo by Dane Deaner on Unsplash

Breaking through

Dear Friends,

Laurie Jean Sennott once said, “Every flower must grow through dirt.” It is so true… Over the last 2  1/2 years I have shared my attempts to push through the dirt of life that was stomped hard on top of me. I hoped it would help you break free as well.

The Bible makes another equally profound observation. When a seed sprouts, “God gives it the new body he wants it to have.” (1 Corinthians 15:38) No flower ever looks like the seed it was. It pushes through dirt into something new.

I feel like I have finally broken through, but I need time and space to embrace the next step. It might take a while, and I hope to be back… If you are in the same place, please join me in this peaceful space.

Until then,

Eva