The silence behind our words

It hardly ever happens. Derek and I stopped. We stood in a beech wood. There was no wind, no noise, no people, just us. We watched leaves fall from the trees, one every few seconds. We heard the “plif” as each one landed.

Life is like that. We can’t hear anything until we stop. Today I heard an agitated voice. I listened to the silence behind their words, and I heard the “plif.” What that person actually meant was, “I feel so alone. No one listens to me. Please accept me.”

Jesus stops with us in the silence behind our words. He wants us to hear his “plif.” “I comfort all who mourn… I bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes.” (from Isaiah 61:2-3)

 

That surprising twist

The other day I told someone how I had royally messed up, but that God had used it to get me back on track, and good had come out of it.  The person went silent for what seemed like a minute. “Oh no!” I thought. “I have offended them.”

When the person finally spoke, it was slow and deliberate. “That… is… exactly… what… happened to me… Thanks so much for sharing… It gives me hope.”

Isn’t this what God’s humour is like? It’s brilliant! The weak make others strong. The poor make others rich. The imprisoned set others free. Those who mess up, spread hope. God always finishes with a surprising twist. He says, “There is a… time to laugh.” (Ecclesiastes 3) Now is a good time!

Caught in the wrong kind of love

If someone we love keeps on hurting us, why do we still love them? It’s crazy! We think, “Oh, it was only a one off. They will change.” But then they keep walking all over us, and we still find an excuse to let them off.

Some people call it true love, but it isn’t. Love isn’t a doormat. It isn’t nice. It doesn’t pretend everything is alright.

God gives us his definition of love, and there is nothing nice about it. “This is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” (I John 4:10) Love dares to be true. It dares to say, “Hey, you got it wrong! I’m giving you a chance to come right.”

 

 

This dark world

I don’t know how to fight injustice. I have tried to speak up for the weak. I have tried to show the weak how to speak. I have tried to protect the abused. I have tried to help the abused stand up for themselves. Now I have come to the end of my strength, and I too am weak.

Then someone reminded me of a verse. “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but… against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil.” (Ephesians 6:12) How could I forget?

I started praying specifically. It didn’t take long. I saw an amazing change. The weak are speaking. The abused make a stand. God can do anything, if we ask.

It was a blow!

“You can trust me,” someone said. “I’ve done this before. Just stand where you are, and I’ll stand an arm length away. I’ll pretend to punch you, but my fist will never touch you. It’s all about getting the distance right.”

I trusted the person as they positioned themself and measured the space between us. I trusted them as they did a test run. I trusted them as they threw the punch. WHAM! I saw stars!! Blood spurted from my nose.

“I’m so sorry!” the person cried. “It’s always worked before.” But as I blew my nose, I started to laugh. Talk about being gullible!

This happened when I was 28, but it taught me something important. GOD doesn’t get his calculations wrong. It says, “Blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD.” (Proverbs 16:20)

Did I get it wrong?

If you asked me if I recognized God’s voice, I would have said, “Yes!” But yesterday a friend came to mind. I felt I should visit her. I texted and rang, but no reply. In the end I drove to her house, a 72 mile round trip.

I knocked on her door. No one answered. I thought I had heard God right. In the end I wrote a note and posted it through my friend’s letter box. Romans 8:28. “And we know that God works all things together for good to them who love him.” 

I laughed. Maybe this trip was actually for me. God wanted to remind me that everything does work for good, even when things go wrong.

The voice above the umbrella

A group of us scattered inside a maze, the kind where the hedges are two meters high. A friend and I got lost. Then I heard my husband’s voice. “Derek, did you make it?” I called.

“Yes!” came the reply. “Where are you?”

I happened to be carrying a long umbrella. “Here!” I called, and raised it high.

Derek laughed. “I can see everything. I’ll guide you.” He gave instructions, watching the tip of my umbrella as it bobbed along. “Left. Right. Not that right! The next one…”

Life is like that. We get so lost and mixed up. Then we hear God’s voice. “I see everything!” he says. “Listen. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go.” (from Hebrews 4:13; Psalm 32:8)

Now, that is living by faith!

What is rest?

I don’t know about you, but I am clamoring for rest. When a friend tells me they are flying somewhere nice, I wish I could too. Even the Bible says, “O, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest.” (Psa 55:6)

But rest isn’t
just a destination, it’s a person. God says, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” (Ex 33:14)  It doesn’t actually matter where we end up, with God we will always find rest.

It is God.

You might remember… my memoir wasn’t published because of a threat of legal action. A full year later the threat still exists. Yup! It’s an accomplishment that deserves the equivalent of a boy-scout badge.

It was also a test to find out what is really inside me. Sure, I found anger and the desire for revenge, but I also found something else. The strength to get back up. The ability to forgive. The courage to consider that I might be getting another badge next year.

I find God does that with troubles. He uses them to teach us about ourselves. He uses them to make us deeper and truer. “It is God who arms us with strength and makes our way perfect.” (from Psalm 18:32) It is God.

 

To live without lies

Often I wake up in the night, trying to break free from lies I picked up in my past. Offene Muschel im SandI have even prayed for Jesus to heal me. But the following day I end up right where I started, acting as if those lies are still true.

If I told you those lies, you would shake your head. You would say, “Eva, but those are just LIES! They aren’t true!”

I know that too. But breaking free from what has become a part of our emotional DNA is not an easy thing. Even Jesus knew that. Nowhere in the Bible (I have searched!) did he instantly heal an emotionally hurting person. Instead he stretched out his arms. He said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest… Learn from me.” (Matthew 11:28-29) Jesus is our comforter, our teacher, our gradual healer. He shows us how to live without lies.