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When others shut us down…

It is possible to do something excellently and still get rude remarks. It is possible for others to envy our work and try to shut us down. Our natural response might be to protect ourselves, to run away and hide.

In the Bible, someone experienced the same, and this man hid out in the wilderness, inside a cave. But God asked him, ‘What are you doing here?’

That man poured out his heart, but God gave him another perspective. He said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord…’

Those who are envious will try to force us into hiding, but God pulls us out into the open. He shows us that next good thing to do.

(from 1 Kings 19:9-18) (photo by M Venter: https://www.pexels.com)

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Bible psychology – The opportunity in our personality

Each of us has a personality – it influences the way we think, feel and behave. And, even before we were born, it was right there as a part of us. But we might think life unfair, especially if we end up with some unwanted traits.

But the Bible says, ‘Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it’ (Psalm 139:14 NLT). Now, imagine God stirring up our gene pool, picking out exactly who we should be. He gives us the good and the challenging – each one an opportunity to see how we will do.

I know of someone who had a raging temper. They actually couldn’t remember what they did or said. But this person recognised that this was dangerous and began to work on themselves. They learned how to channel it into something good…

(photo by David Guerrero: www.pexels.com)

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Bible psychology – How to live

A small sign pointed up, so I stopped and looked. High above, on the church tower, it said: ‘Do not forget to live.’ It hit me hard.

I do it all the time. I get caught up in work, business, in pleasing others – my head down, my life filled with concern. I forget to live. And sadly, I forget HOW to live, because the pressures of life pull me down.

God, however, isn’t ‘the God of the dead, but of the living’ (Mark 12:27). So, today, I stop and pray: ‘Please show me what living looks like and remind me what it feels like.’

Today, I watch the sun and shadows, the sparkling dew. The world rushes by, but I stop.

(sundial of a Warwickshire church tower)

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Bible psychology – identifying the narcissist

‘For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every evil practice.’ – James 3:16

Most of us can do this – ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ We can value people just as much as we value ourselves. But there are some who only consider themselves. They have no interest in what we feel or think. They have no interest in what happens to us. For, we are the commodity and they, the consumer.

So, how can we spot them in a crowd? Here are two identifying markers from James 3:16:

  • They envy us. They want what we have and will get it by whatever means possible. And if they can’t, they will destroy us and what we have.
  • They have selfish ambition and will step on us to get what they want. As one person often said, ‘I don’t mind and you don’t matter.’ And then they would laugh.

It is a challenge, though, to pick them out, because narcissists are good actors. They can pretend to love and suddenly become our best friend. So, there is a third way to identify them, but it is only in retrospect. They leave a trail of chaos and darkness.

Pray for God to open your eyes.

(photo by cottonbro studio: www.pexels.com)

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Never give up!

‘Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart.’ – Colossians 3:23 .

Did you know that 96 years ago, the first ever loaf of sliced bread was sold? Otto, a young man, wanted to make a bread slicing machine, and he had just about finished when his shop burned down.

He didn’t give up. It took him 10 more years to rebuild it and then sell it to a bakery. Otto didn’t think people would catch onto the idea, but it spread around the world. Two years later, people could buy sliced bread in England as well.

Otto never became rich or famous, but he made something which made life easier… Whatever our dreams, we can give them a go. Whatever the troubles, we can press through.

(from a chaplain’s chat I wrote – photo by Lucas Guizo: https://www.pexels.com)

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The charm of being human…

There is a certain risk when dressing in the dark. We could put our clothes on wrong. Yesterday I did it again. I wore my shirt inside out, and I didn’t even notice until I took it off in the evening. And no one told me that they could see my tags, or the seams and darts in my shirt. They carried on.

It didn’t change what I did or said or went, because I didn’t know. And by the end of the day, it was too late to be embarrassed. It had happened.

What did I learn from it? All of us carry imperfections in our lives, a broken past or personal mishaps, which we don’t even know about. So, just carry on, and at the right time it will come to light.

(photo by Sergey Makashin: ww.pexels.com)

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The antidote for jealousy

As a depressed teenager, a neighbour give me his old issues of ‘Guideposts.’ I read the faith stories and they held me together, especially as I struggled with wanting to be like others.

Imagine my surprise to discover that now they offer a writers’ course for would-be contributors. I couldn’t comprehend their generosity, that is, until I read this quote:

‘Your jealousy—yes, you will be jealous of other writers’ success and talent—will melt away when you’ve been generous… Want to be a writer? Be someone else’s good reader. Believe in someone else. Be their friend, their fan. Expand your world. No doubt you’ll find there are many people who believe in you. .’*

And just as Guideposts cheers me on, I am doing the same. It erases the need to compare myself with others. My heart is for them to succeed.

*Rick Hamlin, ‘Called to Write’, published by Guideposts, 2019, pg 51-52.

(image found on https://www.etsy.com/listing/1560178915/vintage-guideposts-magazines-1972-7)

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The challenge of wanting to be right…

Recently, Derek and I spoke with a newly married couple and they asked us to share some advice, especially as Derek and I have been married a long time. We paused. There was so much we could say, ‘Love each other,’ ‘Be kind’, or even ‘With God you can do it.’

But what came mind was something we have learned the hard way. It is something Jesus repeated taught as well – ‘Listen, then, if you have ears!’* There is little mileage in winning an argument, but a conversation can go a long way.

As a very wise lady once observed about another conflict a long time ago: ‘Why do they argue? Don’t they see that both are right?’

So our advice to this couple was simple – ‘Listen.’

(Mark 4:23 – Good News Translation)

(photo by Vera Arsic: pexels.com)