Tag: friendship

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Finding the reason to live…

I have been to places so profoundly dark, that I couldn’t see my hand, even when I waved it in front of my eyes. Because, the absence of light is darkness.

I have been in places where leaders didn’t care if I was happy or sad, so long as they had control. They didn’t care if I was dying inside, as long as I did it in silence. But the absence of care is actually cruel. The absence of love invokes fear.

I have also experienced people who believed in me, who dared to tear down the blinders which had tricked me into darkness. Because – and this is true for many of us – in the presence of those who love us and care, we find our reason to live. We find that their ‘perfect love casts out fear.’*

*1 John 4:18 / (photo by RUN 4 FFWPU: www.pexels.com)

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Friends, Failure and that DAH Moment

Maybe this is your story as well… I grew up having to be ‘perfect’, to be intuitive and figure out how to please. So for me, failure causes intense agony, even now.

But it took me a while to realise that those who demanded my perfection never lifted a finger to help. And those who pointed out my failures didn’t actually care for my success. Was there a way out?

Slowly, I learned that, ‘Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up’ (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

My true friends are those who help me be my best, and who let me do the same. DAH!

(photo by Yaroslav Shuraev: www.pexels.com)

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Our daily deaths…

The beauty of being human is that each of us has inherent privileges. In the beginning, God lavished Adam and Eve with ones which gave them emotional life. Love and friendship. To make their own choices and speak their mind. The privilege to learn from mistakes and grow wiser. To work creatively and have faith… Each one is essential in God’s eye.

Now, if any one of these was forcibly removed from our lives, the way God created us to function would die in that area. And this is a death. It will affect every other area in life.

If my freedom to speak is torn from me, it affects my friendships, choices, and my opportunities to grow. It affects my decisions…

How can we/I regain these stolen privileges?

(photo by Felipe Vallin: https://www.pexels.com)

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What is important?

You have heard the saying, “When God closes one door, he opens another.” But to me it has always felt a second best. A consolation prize. Something I didn’t really want.

But the other day I saw it differently… I had to cancel an important meeting because of a Covid incident. I felt disappointed. But now with free time on my hands, I took a long walk with someone. It turned out they were asking the question, “What is the point?” And this conversation was SO IMPORTANT, God had to clear my diary!

Could it be that when God shuts a door, it is because he has an urgent need for us to be his heart and hands, his feet and voice?

Photo by Nigel Cohen on Unsplash

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My Author…

Derek just finished leading the Navigators UK. Eight good years, and I thank God from the bottom of my heart. Derek did such a good job.

Yet, for all this joy, I grieve. I cared for the people we worked with – deeply. Prayed for them. Hoped for them. And now it is over, even though that care for them keeps flowing.

So, in desperation I look to Jesus, and he reminds me of this – he is the author and perfecter* of my life and theirs. All of us are turning the page to the next chapter in our lives. All of us wait with bated breath. But as our lives diverge, we are in good hands, for Jesus knows what happens next. He has our stories mapped out.

*Hebrews 12:2

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Daring honesty…

Not long ago, in a certain situation, I thought I was right. I couldn’t even listen to a challenge from a friend. But later I read a verse, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you…” (Matthew 18:15) Sigh! This verse was about me…

A lady once told me, “Because I live alone, no one ever disagrees with me. So, in my eyes I am always right. But I need people to challenge me, no matter how distasteful.”

Now, it is true that not every challenge comes from a good heart. But whatever comments come our way, it is good to lift each one up and take an honest look.

Photo by James Scott on Unsplash