cruelty – Eva Leaf

I have been to places so profoundly dark, that I couldn’t see my hand, even when I waved it in front of my eyes. Because, the absence of light is darkness.

I have been in places where leaders didn’t care if I was happy or sad, so long as they had control. They didn’t care if I was dying inside, as long as I did it in silence. But the absence of care is actually cruel. The absence of love invokes fear.

I have also experienced people who believed in me, who dared to tear down the blinders which had tricked me into darkness. Because – and this is true for many of us – in the presence of those who love us and care, we find our reason to live. We find that their ‘perfect love casts out fear.’*

*1 John 4:18 / (photo by RUN 4 FFWPU: www.pexels.com)

Seven years ago, while travelling internationally, I sat in a cafe waiting for someone to turn up. Earlier, this woman had telephoned me, weeping, saying she needed to talk with me right now. So I cut short a meeting, caught a train to the cafe where we had arranged to meet.

I sat there for three hours, and when this person finally arrived, there were no tears. She laughed instead and told me it had been a ‘test’ to see how much I loved her.

You can imagine my anger and hurt, and maybe even that every bit of love I felt for this person disappeared. For human love is like that – if it is abused or used, it runs out.

I prayed for God to give me his love, because I didn’t know what it looked like in this situation. And since I heard no voice from heaven, I bought this person a cup of coffee and a cake. We chatted a bit. But then I stood up and walked out, leaving her to sit alone.

Whether I did right or wrong, I don’t know. But I learned that there are two kinds of love, mine and God’s. I learned that mine isn’t enough and only God could help me now.

Photo by Maria Orlova: https://www.pexels.com

Tag: cruelty

Where love runs out…