no love – Eva Leaf

I have been to places so profoundly dark, that I couldn’t see my hand, even when I waved it in front of my eyes. Because, the absence of light is darkness.

I have been in places where leaders didn’t care if I was happy or sad, so long as they had control. They didn’t care if I was dying inside, as long as I did it in silence. But the absence of care is actually cruel. The absence of love invokes fear.

I have also experienced people who believed in me, who dared to tear down the blinders which had tricked me into darkness. Because – and this is true for many of us – in the presence of those who love us and care, we find our reason to live. We find that their ‘perfect love casts out fear.’*

*1 John 4:18 / (photo by RUN 4 FFWPU: www.pexels.com)

‘For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every evil practice.’ – James 3:16

Most of us can do this – ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ We can value people just as much as we value ourselves. But there are some who only consider themselves. They have no interest in what we feel or think. They have no interest in what happens to us. For, we are the commodity and they, the consumer.

So, how can we spot them in a crowd? Here are two identifying markers from James 3:16:

They envy us. They want what we have and will get it by whatever means possible. And if they can’t, they will destroy us and what we have.
They have selfish ambition and will step on us to get what they want. As one person often said, ‘I don’t mind and you don’t matter.’ And then they would laugh.

It is a challenge, though, to pick them out, because narcissists are good actors. They can pretend to love and suddenly become our best friend. So, there is a third way to identify them, but it is only in retrospect. They leave a trail of chaos and darkness.

Pray for God to open your eyes.

(photo by cottonbro studio: www.pexels.com)

Category: no love

Bible psychology – identifying the narcissist