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Unexpected freedom at twenty-one…

Something spooked my father and we fled until he felt safe – a thousand miles. We finally set up tents on an Arizona mountain, beside a road built by prisoners of war. For three weeks we camped in that desolate wilderness. 

In the silence, I played my accordion. My melody echoed with the remembered chisel sounds of those prisoners. I too was a captive to someone else’s fear. Yet my fingers played something far more captivating… 

“Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me, underneath me, all around me
Is the current of your love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To your glorious rest above.”

Jesus holds us tight in a love that understands.

Composer: Samuel Trevor Francis (1834-1925).  Photo: OB OA on Unsplash.

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Can others wreck our lives?

May I share with you what I have learned…

God always speaks out against the injustices we suffer. He always upholds us when we are wronged. He walks with us through our hard times. He never lets us down.

I have also learned that even though everyone has a choice, we can’t make anyone choose to do what is right. And, even though their choices may ruin our lives, God always has another way. He redirects our eyes to something new.

Because we understand grief, we can comfort those who grieve. Because we suffer injustice, we can fight for those who are crushed. God doesn’t consider our past as wasted years; it is the foundation on which he builds hope.

Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash

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On Unclipped Wings – a friend’s reaction

He said, “Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. I found myself immersed and, as I read, I kept wondering how a story like this could take place. I wondered how much more psychological battering the key player, a daughter, could take, and what motivated her religious parents to act and speak as they did. 

This account relates how a daughter’s freedom was seriously restricted, even into adulthood, and how she was repeatedly devalued and considered to have no potential. I expected her to become embittered and broken, to rebel against religion. But, for the grace of God… 

Her story is well told, engaging, and not quickly forgotten. I was challenged by her resilience and positive attitude, that she survived and then triumphed, that beauty grew in adversity.”

Thank you, friend.

(front cover updated February 2022)

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We can pass on comfort…

Yesterday I met a stranger who is fed-up and utterly underwhelmed by his job. He said, “Sometimes I lose the will to live.”

I had no wise answer, no words of encouragement, even though I have been in those same shoes as well. But I made a comment and this person started laughing. And then I remembered, this is how God often comforts me.

For, “we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:4) In my troubles God gives me laughter. A clumsy mistake with a funny antic. A sudden ACHOO in a silent library. Watching a duck skid on ice.

Each of us can pass on the comfort God gives us. 

Photo by Jan Tinneberg on Unsplash

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On Unclipped Wings – its heart…

On Unclipped Wings goes deep into the heart of what it means to be free. Can the manipulation of others, their forcefulness and psychological control, imprison us and tear away our freewill? Or can our hearts still beat with passion and joy?

No matter the circumstance, we do have a choice. We can always relate with God. No person, no society, no situation can stop us. Sure, it will be the battle of all battles, and our controllers may try to slay us emotionally, psychologically, and even physically, but there is a way through.

On Unclipped Wings is my testimony, for through my griefs I discover that God is true. And, even though my circumstances take a long time to change, I learn that I am no longer a victim, or even a survivor. With God I can thrive. 

 Available on Amazon as a paperback or e-book. Here is a link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Eva-Leaf/e/B07ZMJXL8R?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1572790644&sr=1-1

Eva Leaf

(Front cover was updated in Sept 2021)

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Rejoice with me!

A few days ago I was formatting my testimony, getting it ready for possible self-publication.  But, instead of pushing the SAVE button, I pressed PUBLISH by mistake. Oh, the panic, I wasn’t ready. I don’t mean the manuscript is unfinished. That was done years ago. I’m talking about my heart.

Yet, there are times when God lets these mistakes happen, because he knows that we will delay. He knows that we will sit there, and for me that meant wanting to get properly publishing, instead of doing it myself. But there is a verse that deeply encourages me, “‘Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?’ says the LORD. ‘Do I close up the womb when I bring to delivery?’ says your God. ‘Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her…'” (Isaiah 66:9-10)

So, REJOICE WITH ME! My story is unexpectedly born, and it is now ready for you to read.
amazon.com/author/evaleaf 
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Eva-Leaf/e/B07ZMJXL8R?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1572245482&sr=1-1


(Front cover updated September 2021)

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No fear is too big!

I have waited four long years for the release of my memoir. At first I gave power to the person who threatened it with legal action if I published it traditionally. But two months ago, a new realization dawned on me. God is bigger than any situation. He is stronger. He is good. And, HE is the one in control. 

I don’t know why it has taken me this long to understand, but now I have a different perspective: “We wait in hope for the Lord, for he is our help and shield.” (Psalm 33:20) No more do I hope for that person to change their mind, instead I hope in God. HE is the one in charge. HE will do what is right, and HE will do it at the right time.

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Where I forgot…

It can take years to realise that we have been unfair to ourselves. We can give all our energy to help others fulfil their dreams, but forget about our own. We can enable others to flourish, but neglect ourselves.

yellow lighted camp within mountain range during nighttime

Just last night I read a verse I have read a hundred times, and for the first time I noticed a word – YOUR. “Enlarge the place of YOUR tent, stretch YOUR tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen YOUR cords, strengthen YOUR stakes.” (Isaiah 54:2) 

God gave everyone of us a tent…

  • T – talents to develop
  • E – emotions to listen to
  • N – needs to fulfil
  • T – time to be ourselves

Finally, I too am paying more attention to my tent. 

Photo by Yash Raut on Unsplash

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Which way am I going?

I too have been looking back, aching over a broken relationship. But I hurt so much, I lost my sense of direction. I lived in the past and forgot about now.

 Then I came upon a verse, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18-19) Forget? How could I?

But forget also means to deliberately stop thinking about something, and not to bring it to mind. Because sometimes we slip into a relentless time-warp, where we relive our grief again and again.

And when I could choose to turn my head from the past, I began to see what God is doing, giving me something new. A strength of heart to live with love and joy.

 

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You will not go down.

This spring I witnessed a river in flood. The ground shook. The noise of crashing water filled the air. Yet one HUGE boulder stood up above the flood. Sure, it had been worn smooth with centuries of troubles, but it stood its ground. It refused to budge.

I gazed at this rock and thought, “This is life. We get battered and overwhelmed, but we can still stand strong.” For, “When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down… Because I am God, your personal God… your Saviour.” (Isaiah 43:2-3) God holds us tight.

He won’t let us get swept away. He won’t let any of those troubles intimidate us. In him we can stand. In him we are safe, no matter the size of flood.