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FREEDOM – that uncomfortable place

It never occurred to me how good God was to Hagar, a female slave in the Bible. Even though it could feel like she was wrongly treated, being sent away into the desert with her son, God gave her the greatest gift she could ever have – her freedom.

Yet, in order to gain that freedom, Hagar had to leave. She had to leave that strange sense of security in her slavery, where all her physical needs had been met. And we too can remain where we are, in our untenable situations, because in some way our needs are met.

Oh, the kindness of God, to get us kicked out. Oh, the lostness we will feel in this uncomfortable place. But, once we look around at the new life we have, God shows us a better way to live. ‘Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water’ (Genesis 21:19). Hagar used her freedom to provide for another – she gave her son a drink.

(photo by Dmitriy Ganin: pexels.com)

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Our everyday resurrections…

My great comfort is this – our emotional deaths don’t have to be permanent. The privilege to speak, to choose, to work, to love, even if we have lost them, can be regained. The only thing is that in our experienced darknesses, we will change.

One of my frequent go-to verses is Isaiah 45:3, ‘I will give you the treasures of darkness and the riches hidden in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by name.’* For it is in our darknesses that God opens our eyes.

The words I once wanted to speak, I don’t have to anymore. I have different words. My choices are different now. How I work and love changes… Emotional deaths, to put it simply, reposition our lives.

*Berean Standard Bible translation

(photo by Alex Azabache: https://www.pexels.com)

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My hands… my past…

I thought I had left everything behind when I arrived in the UK at age 30 – a young bride. All I brought along was a small suitcase of clothes, a box of books and some wedding presents. I didn’t know what to expect and I didn’t care. I was starting again with Derek.

Now, after 30 years in the UK, 6 years in Portugal, I can say that we don’t ever leave everything behind. Memories still nip at our heels. The genetic code we inherited. Recently, my hands keep reminding me of someone from the past who used their hands for harm. Their hands and mine look identical. I want to hide mine away.

But then I remember, my ‘inherited’ hands come with MY heart. I can choose to use them for good. I can choose to undo harm. And as I do, I redeem my past.

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Photo by Tiana: https://www.pexels.com