The antidote for jealousy

As a depressed teenager, a neighbour give me his old issues of ‘Guideposts.’ I read the faith stories and they held me together, especially as I struggled with wanting to be like others.

Imagine my surprise to discover that now they offer a writers’ course for would-be contributors. I couldn’t comprehend their generosity, that is, until I read this quote:

‘Your jealousy—yes, you will be jealous of other writers’ success and talent—will melt away when you’ve been generous… Want to be a writer? Be someone else’s good reader. Believe in someone else. Be their friend, their fan. Expand your world. No doubt you’ll find there are many people who believe in you. .’*

And just as Guideposts cheers me on, I am doing the same. It erases the need to compare myself with others. My heart is for them to succeed.

*Rick Hamlin, ‘Called to Write’, published by Guideposts, 2019, pg 51-52.

(image found on https://www.etsy.com/listing/1560178915/vintage-guideposts-magazines-1972-7)

Finding the laugh…

Why 143 revisions over 7 years? God isn’t in a hurry when working in our hearts. It took all those years to find the laugh. Enjoy my bio below…

Rich girl, poor girl, beggar girl, Leaf…

Eva Leaf was born in the USA to World War II refugees – a RICH girl – with family and chilling escape stories from Eastern Europe. But Eva’s Pa got spooked and fled again – a POOR girl – to an isolated place in the Ozark mountains.

Next came homelessness in tents and a barn – a BEGGAR girl – with nothing but a cardboard box of clothes and a borrowed guitar. But God stepped in to rescue in an unexpected way. She could finally go to college and study Religious Education in Canada. After getting a degree, she became a teacher on the Mexican/USA border.

Later, an English gentleman, by the name of LEAF, found her and whisked her away. Together, they worked for a charity in England and Portugal. They have now set up home in an English village, where Eva mentors and writes.

She did dream of becoming a doctor, pilot, a commander-in-chief – she has four grown children instead – RICH girl!

Never give up.

Some DON’Ts and DOs when comforting others

  • Don’t yawn or fall asleep, even in a midnight conversation. A griever is fragile.
  • Don’t interrupt them to tell about something good in your life. A griever is vulnerable.
  • Don’t say that others have had it worse. A griever can easily be silenced.
  • Don’t think that comfort is only hugs – it could mean taking them for a walk. A griever needs variety.
  • Don’t promise that everything will turn out alright. A griever deserves honesty.

Some DOs…

  • Do respect their emotional boundaries. Grief can only be carried by the griever.
  • Do remember that as your life goes on, they will grieve in silence. Grief is ever-present.
  • Do keep it confidential, because it is their story to share, not yours. Grief is private.
  • Do promise that you will support them as best you can. Grief is overwhelming.

Yet, there is an even greater Comforter, the one who actually makes us better – God. ‘He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds’ (Psalm 147:3).

(photo by Karolina Grabowska: https://www.pexels.com)

Our daily deaths…

The beauty of being human is that each of us has inherent privileges. In the beginning, God lavished Adam and Eve with ones which gave them emotional life. Love and friendship. To make their own choices and speak their mind. The privilege to learn from mistakes and grow wiser. To work creatively and have faith… Each one is essential in God’s eye.

Now, if any one of these was forcibly removed from our lives, the way God created us to function would die in that area. And this is a death. It will affect every other area in life.

If my freedom to speak is torn from me, it affects my friendships, choices, and my opportunities to grow. It affects my decisions…

How can we/I regain these stolen privileges?

(photo by Felipe Vallin: https://www.pexels.com)

This Crown of Comfort – a blog by my publisher – BRF

Posted by: Eley McAinsh at 19 June 2023

In May we published Eva Leaf’s This Crown of Comfort. Eva searched the Bible for years to discover places where God spoke to women and one rainy day in a tent, she reread Isaiah. ‘I finally found it,’ she writes, ‘I read an outpouring of God’s heart towards a city called Jerusalem. He called her a beloved woman!’ Many years, and 33 drafts later, This Crown of Comfort was completed. ‘With each new draft, I saw a bit more clearly that even in our brokenness we can be whole with God, and that whatever our grief, he is there to comfort us.’

‘I read an outpouring of God’s heart towards a city called Jerusalem. He called her a beloved woman!’

Drawing on the seven calls of God in the book of Isaiah, Eva writes out of searing experience – her own, and that of the many women who spoke to her for the book – and concludes, ‘Despite everything we go through, God’s seven calls are relevant today. For in his tender love, he shows us our beauty and worth. In his powerful love, he gives us strength.’

One of the women who generously shared her story with Eva is known as ‘Becks’ in the book. She has written this blog:

‘In This Crown of Comfort, Eva Leaf takes us on a personal journey through one of the most difficult and incomprehensible realities of existence: the pain and suffering that we encounter and experience in our lifetime. Society today may emphasize the responsibility for us to create happiness by following our hearts to the point where we tend to feel guilty when we are unhappy. This book, however, tells another story: life can be breaking us, circumstances crush us, people hurt us, feelings of sadness, pain, anger, and loneliness completely overwhelm us.

And yet, this is a book of hope! 

And yet, this is a book of hope! Eva shows us the reality of pain and brokenness, but also the reality of a life-giving Companion. In Hebrews 12 the writer says: ‘Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.’ The word ‘race’ in Greek is Agōn, which means ‘struggle, conflict’. This book looks that reality squarely in the eye: yes, life is hard and there is serious struggle going on, and the many stories are witness to that. But thank God, there is another truth: we are not alone, someone has gone before us, loves us and – in mysterious ways – is able to use our brokenness and pain to draw us closer to himself.

God called Jerusalem a ‘beloved woman’. And when she was badly broken, He draws her into a process of healing. She is to take seven vital steps in her journey of recovery and renewed intimacy with Him. As his children, we are also God’s beloved (wo)men. Through many personal examples, stories from friends and everyday encounters Eva shows us how to use these seven steps as we turn away from patterns of lies and dysfunction and embrace the truth that we truly are God’s beloved. And it all starts with comfort…

This Crown of Comfort is an encouragement for people who are confronted with pain and hardship as they go through life, for we are not alone. Suffering does not have the last word, Jesus does. This book is also for those who are looking to make sense of the journey they are travelling. Eva challenges us to look inward, make an honest inventory for ourselves, and choose the right path going forward. And this book is for those who have a friend or loved one going through crises and are wondering what to say and what to pray. Give them this book as a gift, and if you are able, offer to go through it together, perhaps an even greater gift for the both of you. This Crown of Comfort allows us to discover the love of God in a deeper way, the amazing intimacy with Jesus, our big Brother, and the presence of the great Comforter.

And it all starts with comfort…

£9.99 / Buy nowemail sharing button

BRFonline

As a charity, we rely on fundraising and gifts in wills to deliver Anna Chaplaincy, Living Faith, Messy Church and Parenting for Faith. Your gift helps us impact thousands of lives each year. Please help more people to do the same. brf.org.uk/give +44 (0)1235 462305

© Bible Reading Fellowship 2023. Bible Reading Fellowship is a charity (233280) and company limited by guarantee (301324), registered in England and Wales.

Don’t give up!

I complained to a friend about not finding the right story for a children’s talk. But my friend showed no sympathy. “Write your own!” she said.

I was taken aback. I had no talent, or even any interest in writing. My life was too busy anyway. But God used her comment, even though it seemed too crazy to consider…

Now, eleven years later, with forty-four re-writes, twenty-seven rejections from publishers, and an illustrator who marched on valiantly, this Creation book has finally come to life!

Yes, there were those who helped me get back up, again and again. There was also a Bible verse. “Do not despise the day of small beginnings.” (Zechariah 4:10)

What is your seemingly-impossible small beginning? Accept every encouragement, and don’t give up!

***

Coming soon. January 2018. Thank you, Sarah Grace Publishing!

 

Emotional traps

Have you ever been so upset, you dared not speak? I recently was, even though I did all the right things. Count to ten. Take deep breaths. Try to see things from another perspective.

Nothing helped, and all I accomplished was losing sleep and gaining five pounds  in weight. I cried out to God, “Help me.”

A simple thought came to mind… “Focus on God.”

I shifted my gaze from the pain within, to a verse on the kitchen window sill. “The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and rich in love.” (Psalm 145:8) I caught my breath. I had been feeling the opposite. It was time to realign with God.

Do you have verses around the house to help you regain perspective?

 

Are we safe?

There are times when the waves of life roll in, crashing on our shores. A couple of weeks ago I almost lost someone very dear to me. Now someone else is slipping away. I keep thinking, “It’s going to be hard to survive this loss.”

Then, out of the blue a text came in the night. Someone passed on a message to me. “Eva, I am for you!” From God.

I would like to share this same message with you. Have you been up most of the night? Are you experiencing some kind of grief? Could it be a decision you have to make? Or, maybe you don’t feel strong enough to stand up against a wrong? Whatever it is, God is for you. Let him be with you. You are safe.

Can a life get ruined?

A few days ago someone assured me that I could still fulfill a dream I had as a youth. I had wanted to become a medical doctor, but no matter how hard I tried, the door slammed shut again and again. This ‘someone’ encouraged me to go back to school.

I declined. My doctor dream may have been totally crushed, but God replaced it with something else. You see, our talents can be expressed in many different ways. I had wanted to help people’s bodies to heal, but God wanted me to help people’s hearts

What about you? Has your life turned out different than you had hoped? Do you feel like it has been ruined? Don’t give up hope. Seek God’s perspective. Let him redirect you and you will find life. 

 

Are we alive or dead?

In the space of four days, opposite events occurred:

  • Someone said something with an intent to destroy.
  • A friend took me to the National Art Gallery in London.

I sat before a painting with my friend – The Raising of Lazarus.*  It mirrored my circumstances… Lazarus was dead, and I felt the same. But, four days later Jesus told the mourners to open to tomb. An awful smell poured out.  Yet, Jesus called out, “Lazarus, come out!”**

…I sat there. Lazarus was me. Jesus was calling. I lived! Lazarus tore off his shroud. I could tear off mine. I could be free!

You see, death-like words don’t have to hold us down. “Come out!” Jesus calls to each one of us. We can choose to get up and LIVE!

 

* Sebastiano del  Piombo, 1517-19     **from John 11