author, mentor
I’ve been working too hard, and have gone over the edge. Have you ever done that?
The sun was already setting. I had to get outside. And it was as if God was there. The sun spread out its arms, soothing me. I followed it until it set.
Maybe I’ll start chasing sunsets every day. God is bigger than work.
Sometime I feel like that thief on the cross. “Jesus! Get me out of this mess! I’ve been hung out to dry! It wasn’t my fault, really.”
Jesus looks over from his cross. “You might not have noticed, but I am with you.”
“No!” I cry. “I don’t want you to stay with me. I want you to save me.”
Jesus tries to shift himself so that he can breathe. “You might not have noticed… I am!“
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you… For I am the Lord… your Savior… Do n
ot be afraid.” (Isaiah 43:2-5)
Sometimes it seems like God isn’t there, and we have to cross the river alone. But he puts those stepping stones in the right places. He is with us, even when we can’t see him.
When God sent Moses to Pharaoh, he wanted Moses to ask Pharaoh a request. “Let my people go!” Why was that necessary? God doesn’t need anyone’s permission to do what he wants. But God respected Pharaoh’s role. He was giving Pharaoh the chance to do what was right.
Instead Pharaoh revealed his true heart, and God showed Moses the consequence. “Pharaoh will refuse to listen to you – so that my wonders may be multiplied in Egypt.”(Exodus 11:9)
Just like for Pharaoh, God respects our role in life. But can we respect those around us? Can we let them thrive? God gives us a choice… and whichever way we chose, it decides which “wonders” we will see.
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Me! But fear isn’t all bad. It is there to help us survive, to protect us from harm. Like not drinking contaminated water. But when traumas hit us one after another, we build up some serious walls to protect ourselves. Turning sullen and silent. 
Running away. Lashing out.
Fear was my constant companion. It motivated me to keep the peace, instead of standing up for what was right. It drove me to do things I knew were wrong. It kept me from taking risks, life hurt too much already.
How am I working my way out of it? Making the choice to take each problem to Jesus. Going through it with him detail by detail. Sorting out what I can do. Leaving the rest to him. When Jesus said, “Fear not!” (Matthew 14:27, NASB) he meant it. He is all powerful, and he always works all things for good. Somehow.
