Rags-to-riches in one easy step…

Sometimes we feel like rearranging the world, especially when things get tough. We want a one-step, rags-to-riches experience. We want our troubles to vanish and for our hearts to stop breaking. We want to be happy.

Instead, with everything going on, it can feel like troubles are incoming thick and fast. We feel like collateral damage and end up sprawled on the ground. Our rags-to-riches dream seems unreachable and unreal.

Yet, we so often forget that God cares. He wants to move us from rags to riches. Not necessarily rags to wealth, or health, or an easy life. He wants to move us closer to Jesus, the greatest treasure in this world…

That one step, however, includes a fact – our rags. Yet often we will think that rags are the problem. We think that getting rid of them is our top priority…

As a young woman, I experienced rags – homelessness for two turbulent years. But during that time, two identical moments stand out and they both happened on a winter’s night, when I took a bath in a tin tub, outside behind a tin barn. A chill wind was blowing and the temperature falling, but the bath water was warm, heated on a woodstove outside.

I paused to look up. The sky was black, but the stars felt so close, almost as if I could reach out and touch them. I couldn’t resist it. I stretched out my hand and touched one star, and then another. It was all too beautiful for words.

Yet, in the two years in which I was homeless, only twice did I take the time to look up. Only twice did I think, ‘Life is so much bigger than me.’ All the other times, I peppered God with questions:

  • How can you do this to me, dear God? I’m a Christian. I’m your child. You’re my father, and fathers are meant to look out for their children.
  • What are you doing, dear God? My life is being wasted. I’m barely surviving. I can’t figure out what you are trying to teach me.
  • Did I do something wrong and you are punishing me? Please tell me what, so I can change. I want to do what’s right.

I got no answers, but God knew what he was doing. He was willing to risk everything – my relationship with him, my dreams, my very life. He wanted to me learn something much bigger in life, that rags don’t define us, he does. Rags don’t last forever, he does.

And as I reflected in that tub, I remembered a verse: ‘It is I; don’t be afraid’ (John 6:20). God understood the storm that raged in my life. He understood the implications. Yet, he could give me hope. He could comfort me, even though nothing had changed. He became my treasure, my anchor in life. How very rich I still am.

(image: Rachel Claire – pexels.com)

Ending the war in our mind…

All sorts of voices can fill our minds. Belligerent ones of those who condemn. Gentle ones of those who love. But the loud ones often win the battle in taking over our minds.

I had thought that if ever those loud voices ceased, the battle would stop. It didn’t. My mind filled up with hurt instead, and this became as loud as those condemnations.

It has taken me years to stop the war. It came through writing those condemnations down, recording in detail what happened. And then I discovered why I kept reliving my past – I didn’t want to ever forget it. But by moving it from my mind to paper, enabled the memories to keep on going, just not inside my head.

Writing can end the war in our minds. And then we can hear the gentler voices around.

(photo by Lance Reis: pexels.com)

Why am I so favoured?

This is the question Elizabeth asked Mary, a young, single, mother-to-be. And this is the question I too should have been asking in all my troubles over the years. Instead, I recited the wrong ones…

  • Why won’t you hurry up, God, and answer my prayers?
  • How can I survive in this intolerable situation?
  • Don’t you care, God?

But God has been helping me redirect my focus – to look for what is good. And that is hard for me to do, for everything in my heart cries out against these injustices, it cries out against the cruel behaviour of others.

So, today, I celebrated my father’s death, for 33 years ago today, he suddenly died. Derek and I shared an ice cream sundae, and rejoiced in the bravery my father had to admit that he had done wrong. We thanked God for the occasions where he stood up against wrong. We agreed that because of his severity, I grew much deeper in faith.

So, I celebrate with Elizabeth for God’s favour in hard times.

To begin again…

I was 27 and didn’t know how to cope. I thought my life should revolve around pleasing others, but I was never good enough. I could never be enough. Finally I had a breakdown. Sure, I acknowledged that God was all-loving. I agreed that he had created me unique and beautiful, but I didn’t know how to live it.

All pretending stopped as I lay there shivering on my bed. I could no longer be strong, brave, or even good. It was just me and God, and to my astonishment, he still loved me. And he came to me, just as he has come to millions of others, “to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners” (Isaiah 63:1). I would live again.

Six months later I went back to work, and it took another three years to recover, but, I finally knew who I was – BELOVED.

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