Category: I don’t know how to cope

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Where we are born…

I have noticed that when we go through hard times, we often withdraw emotionally and physically. Yet, in our hiding places, God is working. He talks to our hearts. He reasons with our heads. He is training us in the silence until we are ready.

It is then we can emerge as unexpected heroes. We have overcome ourselves. We have dared to move out despite the fears we might carry. And we discovered that with God we can move on – step by step – in his strength.

(Based on the story of Gideon in Judges 6 – where he hides in a winepress and God calls him for there.)

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Ending the war in our mind…

All sorts of voices can fill our minds. Belligerent ones of those who condemn. Gentle ones of those who love. But the loud ones often win the battle in taking over our minds.

I had thought that if ever those loud voices ceased, the battle would stop. It didn’t. My mind filled up with hurt instead, and this became as loud as those condemnations.

It has taken me years to stop the war. It came through writing those condemnations down, recording in detail what happened. And then I discovered why I kept reliving my past – I didn’t want to ever forget it. But by moving it from my mind to paper, enabled the memories to keep on going, just not inside my head.

Writing can end the war in our minds. And then we can hear the gentler voices around.

(photo by Lance Reis: pexels.com)

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Finding the reason to live…

I have been to places so profoundly dark, that I couldn’t see my hand, even when I waved it in front of my eyes. Because, the absence of light is darkness.

I have been in places where leaders didn’t care if I was happy or sad, so long as they had control. They didn’t care if I was dying inside, as long as I did it in silence. But the absence of care is actually cruel. The absence of love invokes fear.

I have also experienced people who believed in me, who dared to tear down the blinders which had tricked me into darkness. Because – and this is true for many of us – in the presence of those who love us and care, we find our reason to live. We find that their ‘perfect love casts out fear.’*

*1 John 4:18 / (photo by RUN 4 FFWPU: www.pexels.com)

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Our everyday resurrections…

My great comfort is this – our emotional deaths don’t have to be permanent. The privilege to speak, to choose, to work, to love, even if we have lost them, can be regained. The only thing is that in our experienced darknesses, we will change.

One of my frequent go-to verses is Isaiah 45:3, ‘I will give you the treasures of darkness and the riches hidden in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by name.’* For it is in our darknesses that God opens our eyes.

The words I once wanted to speak, I don’t have to anymore. I have different words. My choices are different now. How I work and love changes… Emotional deaths, to put it simply, reposition our lives.

*Berean Standard Bible translation

(photo by Alex Azabache: https://www.pexels.com)