How often I desire to see him, but “he wraps himself in light.” How often I want to know where he is going, but “he rides on the wings of the wind.” But… I can hear him, because “he makes winds his messengers.” (Psalm 104) The winds blow around me all the time. I can stop and listen. God speaks.
Am I stuck?
It was c
old. Oak leaves lay frozen in a puddle, unable to escape. I stopped and grieved. That was exactly how I felt about something precious to me. It too had been captured.
Then a thought came. “Look up!” An oak tree overshadowed me. Another thought. “Don’t be sad. That oak tree will produce many more leaves! So can you!” Isaiah 61:3 says, “… provide for those who grieve in Zion… They will be called oaks of righteousness… for the display of his splendor.”
Who is scared of fear?
Me! But fear isn’t all bad. It is there to help us survive, to protect us from harm. Like not drinking contaminated water. But when traumas hit us one after another, we build up some serious walls to protect ourselves. Turning sullen and silent. 
Running away. Lashing out.
Fear was my constant companion. It motivated me to keep the peace, instead of standing up for what was right. It drove me to do things I knew were wrong. It kept me from taking risks, life hurt too much already.
How am I working my way out of it? Making the choice to take each problem to Jesus. Going through it with him detail by detail. Sorting out what I can do. Leaving the rest to him. When Jesus said, “Fear not!” (Matthew 14:27, NASB) he meant it. He is all powerful, and he always works all things for good. Somehow.
Scared
Ten years ago I put a verse on the kitchen cupboard. “Be strong and courageous.” (Joshua 1:6) Every time I felt scared I ran to that verse, sometimes a dozen times a day. In my heart I reached up to God, and he gave me th
e strength to keep going.
That verse fell off three weeks ago. I put it up. It fell off again. I thought that God might want me to live a deeper faith, not through a verse, but directly with him. I struggled to hang on.
Yesterday a lady stopped me. “I have something for you,” she said. She showed me some words she had written in a notebook. “Don’t fear, have faith. It is I who lead the way.” I wrote those words down, put them up on the kitchen cupboard. Thank you, God.
If I am still breathing, I LIVE
Just yesterday I received bad news. It so crushed me, I slumped to the floor in tears. It felt as if a hand had slid inside my chest, squeezing life from my heart. “Don’t you have any words of encouragement for me?” I asked my husband.
“I don’t know what to say. But, I can read the Bible to you.”
He opened to 2 Corinthians 4. “…The One who raised up the Master Jesus will just as certainly
raise us up with you, alive.” (verse 14, The Message)
If God could give Jesus breath again, he can make us live again. Of all the things I have learned about suffering, this one is the simplest – if I am still breathing, I LIVE… And if that is true, there is hope.