Category: facing the past

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Retrospect…

My wedding day was certainly tough. Someone stepped in and caused trouble on all sides. Then, at the reception, my granny gave me an unwrapped, tattered, black leather Bible. I had thought wedding gifts should be new!

I thanked her and flicked it open just for a second. Yellowed pages. Marked and underlined verses. I can’t tell you how sad I felt. So, I left that Bible untouched, unread. Ten years later, I sent it to a relative.

Fifteen years passed and I travelled the several thousand miles to visit this relative. They told me that during my wedding reception, my granny had stepped aside and sat quietly in a corner with that Bible on her lap. Her head was bent down as she underlined verses. ‘I didn’t know that!’ I said, surprised.

‘You should read it,’ this relative said. ‘Those verses are for you.’ Then they hurried to fetch the Bible and gave it back to me.

Out of curiosity, I opened it and searched. A whole series of passages had been marked, but it surprised me because these were my favourites as well. All these years later, I discovered that God had taken her down a similar path. Both of us had concluded that God is good, even in the midst of intense sadness. Both of us loved him.

I kept on flicking, page after page and God spoke deep into my heart. Here is one of those passages:

‘As they pass through the Valley of Baka (or Weeping), they make it a place of springs… For the Lord God is a sun and a shield; the Lord bestows favour and honour; no good thing does he withhold from those whose way is blameless’ (Psalm 84:6, 11).

Our troubles don’t define us, God does.

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Don’t be afraid when life changes…

We can write out the perfect script for our lives. We can live out our story with all our heart. We can set the scenes, but things don’t always go to plan.

We cry out to God and he hears our prayers. And then he steps in with his clapperboard. He tells us that the script is in need of change and that he has known it all along. But it takes us time to accept the pause and to realise that our first script was riddled with plot holes.

So, now he is writing and keeping it secret. Now he is changing the narrative. Don’t be afraid. Go with God’s plan.

(photo by Matin Lopez: https://www.pexels.com)

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Can others wreck our lives?

May I share with you what I have learned…

God always speaks out against the injustices we suffer. He always upholds us when we are wronged. He walks with us through our hard times. He never lets us down.

I have also learned that even though everyone has a choice, we can’t make anyone choose to do what is right. And, even though their choices may ruin our lives, God always has another way. He redirects our eyes to something new.

Because we understand grief, we can comfort those who grieve. Because we suffer injustice, we can fight for those who are crushed. God doesn’t consider our past as wasted years; it is the foundation on which he builds hope.

Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash

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Can a life get ruined?

A few days ago someone assured me that I could still fulfill a dream I had as a youth. I had wanted to become a medical doctor, but no matter how hard I tried, the door slammed shut again and again. This ‘someone’ encouraged me to go back to school.

I declined. My doctor dream may have been totally crushed, but God replaced it with something else. You see, our talents can be expressed in many different ways. I had wanted to help people’s bodies to heal, but God wanted me to help people’s hearts

What about you? Has your life turned out different than you had hoped? Do you feel like it has been ruined? Don’t give up hope. Seek God’s perspective. Let him redirect you and you will find life. 

 

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To live without lies

Often I wake up in the night, trying to break free from lies I picked up in my past. Offene Muschel im SandI have even prayed for Jesus to heal me. But the following day I end up right where I started, acting as if those lies are still true.

If I told you those lies, you would shake your head. You would say, “Eva, but those are just LIES! They aren’t true!”

I know that too. But breaking free from what has become a part of our emotional DNA is not an easy thing. Even Jesus knew that. Nowhere in the Bible (I have searched!) did he instantly heal an emotionally hurting person. Instead he stretched out his arms. He said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest… Learn from me.” (Matthew 11:28-29) Jesus is our comforter, our teacher, our gradual healer. He shows us how to live without lies.

 

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The prison of fear

I wish it hadn’t happened, but this thing called fear was planted inside me as a child. Even now it tries to grab a hold of me. It tries to take over.

I can tell you that fear is a prison. hand in jailIt tears away from us the courage to fight back. It makes us powerless. But knowledge of fear, and how it works, doesn’t mean it goes away.

There is only one way I have found to overcome fear. I make a choice. I choose to look at God, not the one who causes fear. I choose to care what God thinks of me, not the opinions of others. I choose to be what God wants me to be, not what others demand.

When I do that, fear disappears.

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Memories, not Masters

Memories can become our masters. When we have been broken and hurt, and don’t know how to move on, those memories enslave us. It is as if they take over our life.DSC_0011

In the Bible God’s people were enslaved as well. They knew they couldn’t escape the pain and suffering inflicted on them. God knew they couldn’t… He rescued them. He sent hope. “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today… The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:13-14)

Let God fight for your heart today. Believe him when he says, “Don’t be afraid.”  

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The Adventure of Brokenness

The facts of 2015 could stare us in the DSC_0119face. Broken dreams. Smashed hopes. Where was God? He could have changed those facts, he could have made things better… He didn’t. He had a deeper agenda. Faith. Can I trust him in 2016, even when hope seems futile? Can I believe him that my broken dreams are only the beginning, the seeds of an adventure with God?

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Am I stuck?

It was cDSC_0018 - Copyold. Oak leaves lay frozen in a puddle, unable to escape. I stopped and grieved.  That was exactly how I felt about something precious to me. It too had been captured.

Then a thought came. “Look up!” An oak tree overshadowed me. Another thought. “Don’t be sad. That oak tree will produce many more leaves! So can you!” Isaiah 61:3 says, “… provide for those who grieve in Zion… They will be called oaks of righteousness… for the display of his splendor.”