Category: confusion

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That dangerous weapon called anger…

It can happen so fast. Out of the blue, someone can blame us for their relational problems. ‘It’s all your fault that people don’t talk with me.’

It happened to me and it surprised me that they give me so much sway. In another, it horrified. They wanted me to take responsibility for their actions and anger. They wanted me to smooth things over.

I declined the job offer, so they instantly changed tactic – using shame. Maybe now I would fulfill their wishes if I felt they were the victim.

I had to walk away. I read the Bible. It said, ‘I have heard the insults.*’ I could rest, because anger isn’t the way to make friends.

(photo by Piet Bakker: pexels.com) *Zephaniah 2:8

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Ruined…

Recently, bulldozers moved in, levelling a wood and meadow. The carnage was brutal, with splintered branches and uprooted trees. And when those bulldozers moved out, they left behind a permanent change.

So, why did I think it could be any different with relationships? For some reason, I thought that when a destructive person moved away, everything would snap back to normal. I thought that people could simply bounce back into being happy and whole, that things would be okay.

Now I know it takes a long time to rebuild. I know the scenery has permanently changed. But, there is hope. With God, I am working at pushing broken logs to one side. Maybe kindness and love will take root.

(photo by Boris Hamer: pexels.com)

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Ending the war in our mind…

All sorts of voices can fill our minds. Belligerent ones of those who condemn. Gentle ones of those who love. But the loud ones often win the battle in taking over our minds.

I had thought that if ever those loud voices ceased, the battle would stop. It didn’t. My mind filled up with hurt instead, and this became as loud as those condemnations.

It has taken me years to stop the war. It came through writing those condemnations down, recording in detail what happened. And then I discovered why I kept reliving my past – I didn’t want to ever forget it. But by moving it from my mind to paper, enabled the memories to keep on going, just not inside my head.

Writing can end the war in our minds. And then we can hear the gentler voices around.

(photo by Lance Reis: pexels.com)

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We can see…

In the beginning, God was there in the darkness and confusion. But then he spoke, ‘Light, come!’ And what he set in motion still is.

Each of us had a beginning and it was in darkness. But then in our births we came into light. God set us in motion and we still are. Yet, he wants to speak again today, as we experience other darknesses and confusions. He says, ‘Light, come!’

He sets in motion something new, if only we could stop and look – a scary new path, a unexpected opportunity, or an undiscovered talent we never knew we had. And if we walk in what we see, we can share that light with others. For, beginnings are a gift we can accept and give.

(photo by Pixabay: www.pexels.com)

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Our best is enough…

Over the last few months I have joined in initiating three new projects. Each one totally different. A community centre. A writers’ group. An apple orchard. And with each I feel out of my depth.

Yet over the years I have learned that it is okay to feel that way. It is okay to look at a blank sheet of paper and go blank. It is okay to feel lost.

But, I have found that the ideas do come. A random chat on the street. A person who has been there before and shares their expertise. The encouragement of a friend.

And when I give my best and ‘work at it with all [my] heart, as working for the Lord,’* something always happens. The initiatives take on a life. They bless.

*Colossians 3:23 (photo by Tim Douglas: www.pexels.com)

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Bible psychology – identifying the narcissist

‘For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every evil practice.’ – James 3:16

Most of us can do this – ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ We can value people just as much as we value ourselves. But there are some who only consider themselves. They have no interest in what we feel or think. They have no interest in what happens to us. For, we are the commodity and they, the consumer.

So, how can we spot them in a crowd? Here are two identifying markers from James 3:16:

  • They envy us. They want what we have and will get it by whatever means possible. And if they can’t, they will destroy us and what we have.
  • They have selfish ambition and will step on us to get what they want. As one person often said, ‘I don’t mind and you don’t matter.’ And then they would laugh.

It is a challenge, though, to pick them out, because narcissists are good actors. They can pretend to love and suddenly become our best friend. So, there is a third way to identify them, but it is only in retrospect. They leave a trail of chaos and darkness.

Pray for God to open your eyes.

(photo by cottonbro studio: www.pexels.com)