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A question of ego…

“Who has the biggest ego in this house?” one family member asked.

We looked at each other, not knowing what to say. This was a serious question. Nervous laughter ran around the supper table. It could be any one of us. “The cat!” someone piped up. “She takes first place!”

We laughed again, and I felt relieved. I could hide behind our narcissistic cat. This way I wouldn’t have to examine my life… But I did.

I looked up ‘ego’ in the dictionary: a sense of self-esteem or self-importance. That sounded essential. To look both ways before I crossed a street. To open an umbrella when it rained. Yes! God wants us to care for ourselves, BUT he also wants us to care for others. This is how we differ from cats!

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Ever feel lost?

The other night my mobile phone’s GPS told me that my thirty-minute journey would take two hours! Another accident, I thought. I followed the directions. Then it said, “Turn left on Bicycle Route 6.” What? It thought I was a bike!

I reset my phone, and it took me down a single-track road. Four kilometers later, no lights or habitations around, tall metal bollards blocked my way. Only bicycles could pass through. I came unglued. “I’m a car,” I cried out, “not a bike!”

Then it hit me. I wasn’t a car. I wasn’t even an insignificant dot to a satellite in the sky. I was scared, and God’s precious daughter. I could trust HIM… I turned off my mobile phone and prayed. God got me home with his GPS.

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Welcome home!

Derek and I met two hikers. They stood by a fence with binoculars. “Excuse me,” said one of them, pointing to a manor house, “do you live there?”

I laughed. “I wish.”

Then they pointed there again. “What is that thing in the tree?”

Derek and I shook our heads. But then I grinned and waved my arm with exaggerated grandeur. “Please, feel welcome to take a look.”

All of us laughed, and Derek and I walked on. But Derek and I kept on laughing. Imagine being mistaken for a lord and lady… But actually… Jesus is Lord, and he has a manor house in heaven. It feels so good to have a place we can call home.

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Celebrating our Quirks Day!

A salesman telephoned a few days ago. “Are you Mrs. Leaf?” he asked.

My guard went up. “No!” But then it hit me. What was I saying? I am Mrs. Leaf. I have been for 30 years. “I mean, yes!” I said.

The salesman paused in that “Then, who are you?” kind of a silence.

“Mr.” I corrected. “I mean, Mr. Leaf. No! I’m not him. I’ll go get him.” The salesman started chuckling, but I sent up a prayer, right there on the spot. “God, why do I always say the wrong thing!”

An answer came back fast, just like a pingpong ball. “I made you this way. I created you for my glory.* Embrace it.”

Do you have quirks? Let’s celebrate!

*Isaiah 43:7

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Trapped…

Sometimes what we experience is not understood. “But I do!” people might say. “I can totally relate! It’s just like when I got a bicycle puncture. Deflating.”

Our heart sinks. We fall silent. We feel like we are sitting at the bottom of a deep well. Alone. Unheard. If only someone understood. If only we could share our heart.

Yet, something good can come out of a well. There is a light, and it is up above. It makes us lift our heads. There is a person we can talk to – God.

Jeremiah also ended up in a well. He said, “I  called on your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit. You came near and said, ‘Do not fear.’“ (from Lamentations 3: 55-57)

 

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Searching for the laugh…

I had a dream for 2016. I wanted to learn how to write humour. If sad people could laugh, it might give them hope. But now, a year later, I still haven’t found the joke. 

If I told you I was taken hostage by the seriousness of life, you might believe me if you heard my story. But that didn’t stop me. I found some second-hand comedian books, listened to you-tube talks. I even interviewed.

Now, with only two days left of this year 2016, I am thinking… “Wait a minute! GOD is the source of all good humour! Why didn’t I think of asking him?” Guess what I’ll be doing in 2017?

The Bible says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God.” (James 1:5)

 

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Blackout

Have you ever been caught in a darkness so deep, you couldn’t see your hands in front of your face, even when you held them right up to your nose? Maybe you decided to sit still and wait things out.

But, imagine, your child starts crying. Deep darkness or not, you feel your way forward, crashing into furniture, calling out comforting words. It takes a desperation to actually walk, without sight, without light. The Bible says, “Let him who walks in the dark and has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God.” (Isaiah 50:10)

Are you walking in darkness? I am. Let’s follow the unseen God within our hearts.

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Lost in the plans

All of us make plans of one kind or another. Most of our plans are good. But, will we ever get them fulfilled?

Many of us will. But a few of us will get lost, ending up somewhere we never intended. Others of us will spend our entire lives trying to make our dreams come true. Others will just laugh at the thought that plans ever work.

Yet, I have noticed that some have a goal that transcends all plans. They don’t even have to say what it is. Their lives speak it out for them in silent words. “I will show you the most excellent way… Follow the way of love.” (1 Corinthians 12:30, 14:1)

By God’s grace, I want to follow…

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Inside the box… or out

I am surrounded by boxes. My rectangle house. My defined job.businesswoman introvert sitting in box working on laptop computer My acceptance of limitations in life. Yet I still dream of walking on water, of flying like a bird. What about you?

I also dream of writing extraordinary books. But, I have been told there is only one CS Lewis, only one JRR Tolkien, and sometimes I wonder if I should even dare try. That is, until I remember…

Jesus said something so freeing, it tears apart our cardboard walls. “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things…” (John 14:12) Faith in Jesus isn’t a limiting box. Faith in Jesus means we can embrace big dreams. It means we can go and do.

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The silence behind our words

It hardly ever happens. Derek and I stopped. We stood in a beech wood. There was no wind, no noise, no people, just us. We watched leaves fall from the trees, one every few seconds. We heard the “plif” as each one landed.

Life is like that. We can’t hear anything until we stop. Today I heard an agitated voice. I listened to the silence behind their words, and I heard the “plif.” What that person actually meant was, “I feel so alone. No one listens to me. Please accept me.”

Jesus stops with us in the silence behind our words. He wants us to hear his “plif.” “I comfort all who mourn… I bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes.” (from Isaiah 61:2-3)