Something spooked my father and we fled until he felt safe – a thousand miles. We finally set up tents on an Arizona mountain, beside a road built by prisoners of war. For three weeks we camped in that desolate wilderness.
In the silence, I played my accordion. My melody echoed with the remembered chisel sounds of those prisoners. I too was a captive to someone else’s fear. Yet my fingers played something far more captivating…
“Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me, underneath me, all around me
Is the current of your love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To your glorious rest above.”
Jesus holds us tight in a love that understands.
Composer: Samuel Trevor Francis (1834-1925). Photo: OB OA on Unsplash.
Posted in A true story, does Jesus understand our pain?, fear,, Help me! I'm being controlled., help me., I can't seem to escape, I need a hug., I'm stuck, God., Is there anyone who can hug me?, Jesus loves us so much,, Jesus' love is stronger than fear, Oh, the deep, deep love of Jesus, What should I do when life seems out of control?
Tagged fear, fear that controls others, fear that imprisons others, God is with us, God's comfort, Help me God, hope, I can't change my circumstances, I'm suffering for others' mistakes, Is there hope?, Jesus and his hugs, Oh the deep deep love of Jesus, reconciliation with the past, what's wrong with my dad?, why is my dad acting like this?
May I share with you what I have learned…
God always speaks out against the injustices we suffer. He always upholds us when we are wronged. He walks with us through our hard times. He never lets us down.
I have also learned that even though everyone has a choice, we can’t make anyone choose to do what is right. And, even though their choices may ruin our lives, God always has another way. He redirects our eyes to something new.
Because we understand grief, we can comfort those who grieve. Because we suffer injustice, we can fight for those who are crushed. God doesn’t consider our past as wasted years; it is the foundation on which he builds hope.
Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash
Posted in All things work for good, Are you enough?, betrayal, Broken dreams, broken relationships, Can good come out of pain?, caring for others, choices, confidence, daring to help others, difficulties, dismay, engaging with our own lives, facing the past, failed dreams, faith, fear, Fighting injustice, God is bigger than any threat, God's plans for us, grief, guidance, helping the broken, hope in my hopelessness., How can God help my plans?, how can i find hope in grief?, how can i find hope?, How can I keep going in life?, How can I know God's way?, how can I stop thinking about my hurts?, I can rise up despite grief, is there hope in hopelessness?, my life isn't as I planned, troubles, what do i do with my grief?, when plans don;t work out, Will someone please help me
Tagged Can my life have meaning?, Does God let us down?, God fights injustice, God in our hard times, I'm lost., Is my life wasted?, Is there another way to live?, it seems like my life is ruined, My life is ruined, Please help me find my way., someone is ruining my life
On Unclipped Wings goes deep into the heart of what it means to be free. Can the manipulation of others, their forcefulness and control, imprison us and tear away our freewill? Or can our hearts still beat with passion and joy?
This true story demonstrates that, no matter the circumstance, we always have a choice, we can always relate with God. No person, no society, no situation can stop us.
On Unclipped Wings is a testimony written in third-person about a young woman called Toma. Through her griefs she finds that God is true. And, even though her circumstances take a long time to change, she learns that she is no longer a victim, or even a survivor. She finds out that in God she can thrive.
Available on Amazon as a paperback or e-book. Here is a link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Eva-Leaf/e/B07ZMJXL8R?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1572790644&sr=1-1
A few days ago I was formatting my testimony, getting it ready for possible self-publication. But, instead of pushing the SAVE button, I pressed PUBLISH by mistake. Oh, the panic, I wasn’t ready. I don’t mean the manuscript is unfinished. That was done years ago. I’m talking about my heart.
Yet, there are times when God lets these mistakes happen, because he knows that we will delay. He knows that we will sit there, and for me that meant wanting to get properly publishing, instead of doing it myself. But there is a verse that deeply encourages me, “‘Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?’ says the LORD. ‘Do I close up the womb when I bring to delivery?’ says your God. ‘Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her…'” (Isaiah 66:9-10)
So, REJOICE WITH ME! My story is unexpectedly born, and it is now ready for you to read.
I have waited four long years for the release of my memoir. At first I gave power to the person who threatened it with legal action if I published it traditionally. But two months ago, a new realization dawned on me. God is bigger than any situation. He is stronger. He is good. And, HE is the one in control.
I don’t know why it has taken me this long to understand, but now I have a different perspective: “We wait in hope for the Lord, for he is our help and shield.” (Psalm 33:20) No more do I hope for that person to change their mind, instead I hope in God. HE is the one in charge. HE will do what is right, and HE will do it at the right time.
Posted in God is bigger than any threat, God is our shield, Hope in God, No one can threaten God, No threat can stand against God, Uncategorized, We wait in hope for the Lord, When I am frightened by threats, Where bullies fail
Tagged do not fear, faith in God, God in charge, God is bigger, hope, legal actions, threats, understanding God
It can take years to realise that we have been unfair to ourselves. We can give all our energy to help others fulfil their dreams, but forget about our own. We can enable others to flourish, but neglect ourselves.
Just last night I read a verse I have read a hundred times, and for the first time I noticed a word – YOUR. “Enlarge the place of YOUR tent, stretch YOUR tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen YOUR cords, strengthen YOUR stakes.” (Isaiah 54:2)
God gave everyone of us a tent…
- T – talents to develop
- E – emotions to listen to
- N – needs to fulfil
- T – time to be ourselves
Finally, I too am paying more attention to my tent.
Photo by Yash Raut on Unsplash
Posted in develop myself, engaging with our own lives, enlarging my tent, giving isn't everything, giving ourselves time, God gives each of us talents, God gives us ourselves, I am important, I too am important, Isaiah 54:2, listening to our emotions, our needs, valuing ourselves, when I neglect myself
Tagged don't ignore yourself, emotions, engaging with who I am, giving isn't everything, God made us creative, how do I take care of myself, I am valid, I'm living an imbalanced life, Isaiah 54:2, keeping life balanced, our needs, take care of yourself, talents, you are important
I too have been looking back, aching over a broken relationship. But I hurt so much, I lost my sense of direction. I lived in the past and forgot about now.
Then I came upon a verse, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18-19) Forget? How could I?
But forget also means to deliberately stop thinking about something, and not to bring it to mind. Because sometimes we slip into a relentless time-warp, where we relive our grief again and again.
And when I could choose to turn my head from the past, I began to see what God is doing, giving me something new. A strength of heart to live with love and joy.
Posted in broken relationships, how can i find hope in grief?, how can I forget the past?, how can I stop thinking about my hurts?, moving on from broken relationships, what do i do with my grief?, What does it mean to forget the past?, when hurt holds me back, where is life going, where is my life headed?
Tagged broken relationships, don't dwell on the past, forgetting the past, grief, how can I leave the past?, leaving the past, looking to the future, the past hurts, where is my life headed?, why do I keep remembering the past?
This spring I witnessed a river in flood. The ground shook. The noise of crashing water filled the air. Yet one HUGE boulder stood up above the flood. Sure, it had been worn smooth with centuries of troubles, but it stood its ground. It refused to budge.
I gazed at this rock and thought, “This is life. We get battered and overwhelmed, but we can still stand strong.” For, “When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down… Because I am God, your personal God… your Saviour.” (Isaiah 43:2-3) God holds us tight.
He won’t let us get swept away. He won’t let any of those troubles intimidate us. In him we can stand. In him we are safe, no matter the size of flood.
Posted in a child of God, a wounded heart, accepting God's answers, accepting God's answers to prayer, help me., How does God fit into my troubles?, I can't take it anymore, I can't take these troubles anymore, I'm drowning, I'm losing my foothold on life, someone help me, Uncategorized, What does God say about trouble?, When I am overwhelmed, when life overcomes, where is God?, Will someone please help me
Tagged floods of life, grief, Help me God, helpless, how can I survive?, I can't cope, I can't find my feet anymore, I'm drowning, Is anyone out there?, overwhelmed, sinking in life, troubles, what should I do, where is God?