It is possible to do something excellently and still get rude remarks. It is possible for others to envy our work and try to shut us down. Our natural response might be to protect ourselves, to run away and hide.
In the Bible, someone experienced the same, and this man hid out in the wilderness, inside a cave. But God asked him, ‘What are you doing here?’
That man poured out his heart, but God gave him another perspective. He said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord…’
Those who are envious will try to force us into hiding, but God pulls us out into the open. He shows us that next good thing to do.
(from 1 Kings 19:9-18) (photo by M Venter: https://www.pexels.com)
Each of us has a personality – it influences the way we think, feel and behave. And, even before we were born, it was right there as a part of us. But we might think life unfair, especially if we end up with some unwanted traits.
But the Bible says, ‘Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it’ (Psalm 139:14 NLT). Now, imagine God stirring up our gene pool, picking out exactly who we should be. He gives us the good and the challenging – each one an opportunity to see how we will do.
I know of someone who had a raging temper. They actually couldn’t remember what they did or said. But this person recognised that this was dangerous and began to work on themselves. They learned how to channel it into something good…
‘For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every evil practice.’ – James 3:16
Most of us can do this – ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ We can value people just as much as we value ourselves. But there are some who only consider themselves. They have no interest in what we feel or think. They have no interest in what happens to us. For, we are the commodity and they, the consumer.
So, how can we spot them in a crowd? Here are two identifying markers from James 3:16:
They envy us. They want what we have and will get it by whatever means possible. And if they can’t, they will destroy us and what we have.
They have selfish ambition and will step on us to get what they want. As one person often said, ‘I don’t mind and you don’t matter.’ And then they would laugh.
It is a challenge, though, to pick them out, because narcissists are good actors. They can pretend to love and suddenly become our best friend. So, there is a third way to identify them, but it is only in retrospect. They leave a trail of chaos and darkness.
‘Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart.’ – Colossians 3:23 .
Did you know that 96 years ago, the first ever loaf of sliced bread was sold? Otto, a young man, wanted to make a bread slicing machine, and he had just about finished when his shop burned down.
He didn’t give up. It took him 10 more years to rebuild it and then sell it to a bakery. Otto didn’t think people would catch onto the idea, but it spread around the world. Two years later, people could buy sliced bread in England as well.
Otto never became rich or famous, but he made something which made life easier… Whatever our dreams, we can give them a go. Whatever the troubles, we can press through.
(from a chaplain’s chat I wrote – photo by Lucas Guizo: https://www.pexels.com)
Why 143 revisions over 7 years? God isn’t in a hurry when working in our hearts. It took all those years to find the laugh. Enjoy my bio below…
Rich girl, poor girl, beggar girl, Leaf…
Eva Leaf was born in the USA to World War II refugees – a RICH girl – with family and chilling escape stories from Eastern Europe. But Eva’s Pa got spooked and fled again – a POOR girl – to an isolated place in the Ozark mountains.
Next came homelessness in tents and a barn – a BEGGAR girl – with nothing but a cardboard box of clothes and a borrowed guitar. But God stepped in to rescue in an unexpected way. She could finally go to college and study Religious Education in Canada. After getting a degree, she became a teacher on the Mexican/USA border.
Later, an English gentleman, by the name of LEAF, found her and whisked her away. Together, they worked for a charity in England and Portugal. They have now set up home in an English village, where Eva mentors and writes.
She did dream of becoming a doctor, pilot, a commander-in-chief – she has four grown children instead – RICH girl!
Don’t yawn or fall asleep, even in a midnight conversation. A griever is fragile.
Don’t interrupt them to tell about something good in your life. A griever is vulnerable.
Don’t say that others have had it worse. A griever can easily be silenced.
Don’t think that comfort is only hugs – it could mean taking them for a walk. A griever needs variety.
Don’t promise that everything will turn out alright. A griever deserves honesty.
Some DOs…
Do respect their emotional boundaries. Grief can only be carried by the griever.
Do remember that as your life goes on, they will grieve in silence. Grief is ever-present.
Do keep it confidential, because it is their story to share, not yours. Grief is private.
Do promise that you will support them as best you can. Grief is overwhelming.
Yet, there is an even greater Comforter, the one who actually makes us better – God. ‘He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds’ (Psalm 147:3).
(photo by Karolina Grabowska: https://www.pexels.com)
The beauty of being human is that each of us has inherent privileges. In the beginning, God lavished Adam and Eve with ones which gave them emotional life. Love and friendship. To make their own choices and speak their mind. The privilege to learn from mistakes and grow wiser. To work creatively and have faith… Each one is essential in God’s eye.
Now, if any one of these was forcibly removed from our lives, the way God created us to function would die in that area. And this is a death. It will affect every other area in life.
If my freedom to speak is torn from me, it affects my friendships, choices, and my opportunities to grow. It affects my decisions…
In May we published Eva Leaf’s This Crown of Comfort. Eva searched the Bible for years to discover places where God spoke to women and one rainy day in a tent, she reread Isaiah. ‘I finally found it,’ she writes, ‘I read an outpouring of God’s heart towards a city called Jerusalem. He called her a beloved woman!’ Many years, and 33 drafts later, This Crown of Comfort was completed. ‘With each new draft, I saw a bit more clearly that even in our brokenness we can be whole with God, and that whatever our grief, he is there to comfort us.’
‘I read an outpouring of God’s heart towards a city called Jerusalem. He called her a beloved woman!’
Drawing on the seven calls of God in the book of Isaiah, Eva writes out of searing experience – her own, and that of the many women who spoke to her for the book – and concludes, ‘Despite everything we go through, God’s seven calls are relevant today. For in his tender love, he shows us our beauty and worth. In his powerful love, he gives us strength.’
One of the women who generously shared her story with Eva is known as ‘Becks’ in the book. She has written this blog:
‘In This Crown of Comfort, Eva Leaf takes us on a personal journey through one of the most difficult and incomprehensible realities of existence: the pain and suffering that we encounter and experience in our lifetime. Society today may emphasize the responsibility for us to create happiness by following our hearts to the point where we tend to feel guilty when we are unhappy. This book, however, tells another story: life can be breaking us, circumstances crush us, people hurt us, feelings of sadness, pain, anger, and loneliness completely overwhelm us.
And yet, this is a book of hope!
And yet, this is a book of hope! Eva shows us the reality of pain and brokenness, but also the reality of a life-giving Companion. In Hebrews 12 the writer says: ‘Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.’ The word ‘race’ in Greek is Agōn, which means ‘struggle, conflict’. This book looks that reality squarely in the eye: yes, life is hard and there is serious struggle going on, and the many stories are witness to that. But thank God, there is another truth: we are not alone, someone has gone before us, loves us and – in mysterious ways – is able to use our brokenness and pain to draw us closer to himself.
God called Jerusalem a ‘beloved woman’. And when she was badly broken, He draws her into a process of healing. She is to take seven vital steps in her journey of recovery and renewed intimacy with Him. As his children, we are also God’s beloved (wo)men. Through many personal examples, stories from friends and everyday encounters Eva shows us how to use these seven steps as we turn away from patterns of lies and dysfunction and embrace the truth that we truly are God’s beloved. And it all starts with comfort…
This Crown of Comfort is an encouragement for people who are confronted with pain and hardship as they go through life, for we are not alone. Suffering does not have the last word, Jesus does. This book is also for those who are looking to make sense of the journey they are travelling. Eva challenges us to look inward, make an honest inventory for ourselves, and choose the right path going forward. And this book is for those who have a friend or loved one going through crises and are wondering what to say and what to pray. Give them this book as a gift, and if you are able, offer to go through it together, perhaps an even greater gift for the both of you. This Crown of Comfort allows us to discover the love of God in a deeper way, the amazing intimacy with Jesus, our big Brother, and the presence of the great Comforter.
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Imagine – you’re getting married, but that morning your dad disowns you. You plan to drive to church, but he disappears with the car. So, you end up going in a dirty work van, sitting on the floor in the back. Yet you still wait for your dad outside the church, standing in the wind in your wedding dress and veil. You wait for him to walk you up the aisle. He never shows up…
Derek and I got married almost 36 years ago, but still I struggle to reconcile my wedding day with James 1:2, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds”. But then I regain perspective yet again. Joy is a constant choice.
I walked up that aisle. I took a bold step. And, oh, the joy to see Derek there!
What if someone told you, “Forget about your God and just do what I say”? What would you do? Would you listen?
God knows that many voices shout out, confusing us, but he still speaks: “Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention. Forget your people and your father’s house” (Psalm 45:10) Those near and dear might try to control, might want to keep us ‘safe’, but God wants to take us where we have never gone before.
He asks us to trust him, to take a step into the unknown. He stretches out his hand and invites us to grasp it. “Come, follow me,” (Matthew 4:19) he calls. And we can, into his adventure, individually designed for each one of us.
