Where do I put my anger?

It is a fact. When I get angry, it doesn’t mean that I am necessarily right. If I blow up at someone, it doesn’t make them wrong.

God, however, cuts across my human anger. He asks, “Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.” (Romans 14:4) It is a fact. My human anger will never accomplish God’s heart. It entraps, instead.

God wants us to remember that there can be a tyranny about anger. He wants us to understand how arbitrary our standards can be. And he gives us his point of view – everyone is responsible to God, not to us. HE is good at his job.

Photo by Otávio Augusto on Unsplash

Do you see?

Sometimes we feel invisible. We want others to see us, to understand us. We drop hints, but they don’t seem to hear.

We try to become visible by shouting out. But there is another way and one I keep forgetting – that my visibleness doesn’t depend on others. It depends on whether I see myself.

God “created [my] inmost being,” (Psalm 139:13) and he says that I am “precious and honoured in his sight.” (Isaiah 43:4) Can I see what God sees in me? Can I say, “That is me”?

It is scary to walk in a visibleness that others might not see. But God says, “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.” (Isaiah 43:5) He sees and we can see.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Our constant…

A “new normal” is coming and I feel lost. It’s darkness and confusion, like Genesis 1 all over again. “Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface.” But there was God!

He spoke the first ever recorded words in that darkness: “Let there be light.” Light! And it has NEVER changed since then.

Another unchangeable is Jesus, the true “light of the world.” (John 8:12) And in these uncertain times, it is so easy for me to forget that as I follow him, I will “never walk in darkness.” NEVER. Because he is unchanging.

The “new normal” is coming, and I feel so wobbly. But one thing is already in place – Jesus – that constant and unwavering Light. No need to fear.

Photo by Dan Russo on Unsplash

The last laugh…

In this 100th blog, I wondered what the Bible had to say about ‘100’.

Nothing glamourous, as I had hoped. The first one embodied a cynical old man! “Abraham fell face down; he laughed and said to himself, ‘Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old?'” (Genesis 17:17) I wondered… am I still on the ground laughing at God’s promises? Do I still doubt him when he says he will save?

Then a surprise. The last ‘100’ at the end of the Bible was about Abraham as well! “Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead – since he was about a hundred years old.” (Romans 4:19) Yes, each of us can flounder in impossible situations. So often I do. But it is God who laughs at those impossibilities and difficulties.* He tells us, “I’ve got it. Don’t fear.”

*Psalm 2:4; Psalm 37:13

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Stopping in our lockdown…

There is another side to what we are experiencing now. For when we stop, we begin to see. When we are silent, we begin to hear. We begin to notice what other people feel. Stopping is just as much living, as running our marathons.

  • “Jesus stopped and called [two blind men]. ‘What do you want me to do for you?'” (Matthew 20:32) He saw their pain and dared to care. 
  • “Jesus stopped and said, ‘Call him.’ So they called to the blind man, ‘Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.'” (Mark 10:49) He enabled others to do the same.

In our lockdowns, personal and social, we can follow Jesus’ example. We can stop. And we don’t have to be afraid, for he wants us to see.

On Unclipped Wings – its heart…

On Unclipped Wings goes deep into the heart of what it means to be free. Can the manipulation of others, their forcefulness and control, imprison us and tear away our freewill? Or can our hearts still beat with passion and joy?

This true story demonstrates that, no matter the circumstance, we always have a choice, we can always relate with God. No person, no society, no situation can stop us.

On Unclipped Wings is a testimony written in third-person about a young woman called Toma. Through her griefs she finds that God is true. And, even though her circumstances take a long time to change, she learns that she is no longer a victim, or even a survivor. She finds out that in God she can thrive. 

 Available on Amazon as a paperback or e-book. Here is a link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Eva-Leaf/e/B07ZMJXL8R?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1572790644&sr=1-1

Eva Leaf

Rejoice with me!

On Unclipped Wings: A true story Paperback

A few days ago I was formatting my testimony, getting it ready for possible self-publication.  But, instead of pushing the SAVE button, I pressed PUBLISH by mistake. Oh, the panic, I wasn’t ready. I don’t mean the manuscript is unfinished. That was done years ago. I’m talking about my heart.

Yet, there are times when God lets these mistakes happen, because he knows that we will delay. He knows that we will sit there, and for me that meant wanting to get properly publishing, instead of doing it myself. But there is a verse that deeply encourages me, “‘Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?’ says the LORD. ‘Do I close up the womb when I bring to delivery?’ says your God. ‘Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her…'” (Isaiah 66:9-10)

So, REJOICE WITH ME! My story is unexpectedly born, and it is now ready for you to read.
amazon.com/author/evaleaf 
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Eva-Leaf/e/B07ZMJXL8R?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1572245482&sr=1-1


No fear is too big!

I have waited four long years for the release of my memoir. At first I gave power to the person who threatened it with legal action if I published it traditionally. But two months ago, a new realization dawned on me. God is bigger than any situation. He is stronger. He is good. And, HE is the one in control. 

I don’t know why it has taken me this long to understand, but now I have a different perspective: “We wait in hope for the Lord, for he is our help and shield.” (Psalm 33:20) No more do I hope for that person to change their mind, instead I hope in God. HE is the one in charge. HE will do what is right, and HE will do it at the right time.

You will not go down.

This spring I witnessed a river in flood. The ground shook. The noise of crashing water filled the air. Yet one HUGE boulder stood up above the flood. Sure, it had been worn smooth with centuries of troubles, but it stood its ground. It refused to budge.

I gazed at this rock and thought, “This is life. We get battered and overwhelmed, but we can still stand strong.” For, “When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down… Because I am God, your personal God… your Saviour.” (Isaiah 43:2-3) God holds us tight.

He won’t let us get swept away. He won’t let any of those troubles intimidate us. In him we can stand. In him we are safe, no matter the size of flood.