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Memories, not Masters

Memories can become our masters. When we have been broken and hurt, and don’t know how to move on, those memories enslave us. It is as if they take over our life.DSC_0011

In the Bible God’s people were enslaved as well. They knew they couldn’t escape the pain and suffering inflicted on them. God knew they couldn’t… He rescued them. He sent hope. “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today… The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:13-14)

Let God fight for your heart today. Believe him when he says, “Don’t be afraid.”  

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Valley of Tears

Sometimes life seems to throw us more than we can cope with. Sometimes these troubles come at once… the washing machine breaking, the fridge, the car, the printer, the telephone, my boots… emotional griefs… death, rejection, and exhaustion… My tears flowed unhindered. I was truly in a deep, dark valley.

Then I got a paper cut and spilled lemon juice on it. I started to laugh. The solution was so simple, I rinsed my finger in water. When life stings, I immerse myself in God, his Word. I drink his peace and perspective. “As we pass through the Valley of Weeping, we make it a place of springs.” (Psalm 84:6)

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Kissing the Waves

 

“I have learned to kiss the waves that throw me up against the Rock of Ages.” (C H Spurgeon)   I thought I had learned this, but as I looked at the next one, it was huge. “I can take this,” I thought, and steadied myself. That wave picked me up and threw me down. It broke me.

Jesus gathered my debris. “Darling, there is another way to tackle waves. Surf them. My Word is the board. Climb on behind me. Let’s do the next ones together.”

It’s a different view on top of waves. Jesus shows why people roar: fear… hopelessness… the need to survive… Funny how these waves bring us close to Jesus. I think I’ll kiss him instead.

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Over the edge

DSC_0041 - CopyI’ve been working too hard, and have gone over the edge. Have you ever done that?

The sun was already setting. I had to get outside. And it was as if God was there. The sun spread out its arms, soothing me. I followed it until it set.

Maybe I’ll start chasing sunsets every day. God is bigger than work.

 

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“Get me out of this mess!”

Sometime I feel like that thief on the cross. “Jesus! Get me out of this mess! I’ve been hung out to dry! It wasn’t my fault, really.”

clothes hung out to dryJesus looks over from his cross. “You might not have noticed, but I am with you.”

“No!” I cry. “I don’t want you to stay with me. I want you to save me.”

Jesus tries to shift himself so that he can breathe. “You might not have noticed… I am!“

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Am I stuck?

It was cDSC_0018 - Copyold. Oak leaves lay frozen in a puddle, unable to escape. I stopped and grieved.  That was exactly how I felt about something precious to me. It too had been captured.

Then a thought came. “Look up!” An oak tree overshadowed me. Another thought. “Don’t be sad. That oak tree will produce many more leaves! So can you!” Isaiah 61:3 says, “… provide for those who grieve in Zion… They will be called oaks of righteousness… for the display of his splendor.”

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That Ultimate Goal

Thirty-five years ago I was told that I would feel fulfilled if I got married. I believed it and tried to make it happen. But I had to let go of that dream to find out that happiness is apart from marriage.DSC_0091

Now I am realizing another truth. I believed that the goal of every author is to get published. I worked towards it with all my heart. But again I was wrong. My goal is to write what God wants me to write, and if he desires for my books to get published, he will make it happen.

It is so easy to put our agendas first, and forget that God is above all. He is the one who satisfies our needs. “Trust in the LORD and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.” (Psalm 37:3 NLT)

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“Let my people go!”

When God sent Moses to Pharaoh, he wanted Moses to ask Pharaoh a request. “Let my people go!” Why was that necessary? God doesn’t need anyone’s permission to do what he wants. But God respected Pharaoh’s role. He was giving Pharaoh the chance to do what was right.     
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Instead Pharaoh revealed his true heart, and God showed Moses the consequence. “Pharaoh will refuse to listen to you – so that my wonders may be multiplied in Egypt.”(Exodus 11:9)

Just like for Pharaoh, God respects our role in life. But can we respect those around us? Can we let them thrive? God gives us a choice… and whichever way we chose, it decides which “wonders” we will see.
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Panic or trust?

These past few months I have been writing the final draft of my memoir. The publisher likes it, but I have run into an external block. Could that be enough to stop my book?

DSC_0113Fear, hurt, and tears set in. How could this be happening? I ran to God in agony. But God didn’t fall into a panic with me. He threw his arms around me instead. He said, “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, then you will be successful wherever you go…” (Joshua 1:7)

I can choose what to do in opposition… panic or trust. Dear God, help me trust.

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Who is scared of fear?

Me! But fear isn’t all bad. It is there to help us survive, to protect us from harm. Like not drinking contaminated water. But when traumas hit us one after another, we build up some serious walls to protect ourselves. Turning sullen and silent. DSC_0073Running away. Lashing out.

Fear was my constant companion. It motivated me to keep the peace, instead of standing up for what was right. It drove me to do things I knew were wrong. It kept me from taking risks, life hurt too much already.

How am I working my way out of it? Making the choice to take each problem to Jesus. Going through it with him detail by detail. Sorting out what I can do. Leaving the rest to him. When Jesus said, “Fear not!” (Matthew 14:27, NASB) he meant it. He is all powerful, and he always works all things for good. Somehow.